


All He Needs

by mshkfk



Series: Blanket [1]
Category: College hockey RPF, Hockey RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Daddy Kink, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Infantilism, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mshkfk/pseuds/mshkfk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake Hildebrand thinks he's a pretty odd duck. Then he meets Liam through an online dating site and he thinks he might have met his match.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All He Needs

**Author's Note:**

> So how do you cross US college hockey with a British boyband? This is how.
> 
> I have, honestly, no idea where this came from, except that my Jake needed someone to take care of him and who should step in? None other than Daddy Direction. And the idea never died and kind of got turned into this monster.

Jake wants to kiss the creators of the internet. Aside from providing endless hours of entertainment ( _thank you, YouTube, for the cat videos_ ), it allows for the happy accident that is his venture into infantilism. He spends weeks (…or _months_ ) researching his kink and when he’s finally got a name for it, it clicks. He’s wanted to be taken care of, he’s needed nurturing. He just thought he was being weird about it.

So, not only has it led to an immense path of self-discovery on his part (he’s not alone!), it’s also given him an avenue in which to focus his loneliness.

Because, as it turns out, there’s actually a dating website for people like him.

He’s fortunate when he finds it, but he’d be lying if he said he thinks he’s really going to have any success. Not _everyone_ can be a total creeper, though. Theoretically. Statistically.

Right?

Which is why an email message he receives at 3:34 in the morning makes him smile.

_Hi—_

_You seem about as new at this as I am, and I don’t suppose that’s reassuring for you, but it is for me ;) ;)_

_My name is Liam and I’ve not found many profiles that strike me as much as yours. I find myself in a “daddy” role on a daily basis, nevermind that I’m still pretty young._

_If I haven’t scared you off, I wouldn’t mind a chat._

_Liam_

Truth be told, he _has_ been looking for someone who knows a bit about what they’re doing. But, from his profile picture, Liam looks pretty young and that’s a quality he wants, too. He’s never been big on a huge age discrepancy.

So he clicks down to the reply button and types out a quick message.

_Hey Liam_

_No you didn’t scare me off, I’m a bit tougher than that haha. My name is Jake. I’m 19 and this is kind of the first time I’m acknowledging what I want. So yay for me?_

_How is it you’re already in a daddy role? Do you have someone like me already?_

_Here’s a random tidbit about me… I don’t like the quiet._

_Jake_

Liam doesn’t immediately reply (Jake didn’t _expect_ him to. Hope? Sure. Expect? No.), so he pretty much forgets all about it. Hockey’s seriously gearing up and all he wants is to win.

Four days of all practice and all class makes him flat-out exhausted. He can barely move Thursday, flat on the floor of the dorm room he shares with Ferrantino.

“Hey.” Mike nudges his leg with a foot.

“G’way.”

“Your phone just buzzed.”

Jake… can’t make himself care. “…Okay.”

He closes his eyes and tries to will himself to sit up. When that doesn't work, he sighs. “I’m gonna nap here. Wake me if the place is on fire.”

Instead of being agreeable, like a good roommate, Mike chucks his phone at him and it hits Jake square in the chin.

“Ow. _Fuck_. The _hell_?”

“It _keeps buzzing_.”

Jake picks his phone up off the floor, where it fell next to his face. “Darny’s been texting me. Like seven times. Something about Berry falling off his scooter.”

Mike snorts, but doesn’t say anything.

An eighth alert on his screen has a slow smile creeping onto his face.

_Jake_

_I’m so glad I didn’t frighten youuu!!! And no I don’t have children—it just seems like it. My four best mates live and travel with me. I spend a lot of time looking after them, yeah?_

_I’ve been a caretaker long as I can remember, and Lou (one of the four mates) found me this site. They all know me better than I know myself._

_I’m 19 too and I like to read and sing and laugh :)_

_Hope to hear from you soon ;)_

_Liam xX_

Jake’s grin is a mile wide by the time he’s done reading (and rereading) the email. Liam is simply… cute. And he likes that.

He sits up and clambers into his desk chair.

“What’re you doing?” Mike grumbles from the floor, arm flung over his face. “You moved. How can you move? I feel like death.”

“Second wind,” Jake smiles, winking down at him and opening his laptop up.

Mike shifts his arm to look at him with one eye. “Did you—are you—is there a _boy_?”

The entire team knows of Jake’s sexuality, and he’s fine with that. The only teasing has come in jest, playfully, and none has been mean-spirited. He likes this team. He trusts them.

He looks down again after opening the website and clicking on Liam’s email.

“There… _might_ be. It’s way too soon. It’s an internet thing?”

Mike sits up. “Internet? A sleazy dating site?”

“No,” Jake rolls his eyes. “Very… reputable.”

He lays back down and covers his face with an arm again. “Try not to be so damn happy. I can feel it all the way over here and I’m busy being in pain from eight grueling practices. In _four_ days.”

“I’ll try,” Jake mumbles and begins typing.

_Liam,_

_I was beginning to think you forgot about me ;)_

_I’m a student in Michigan and I play hockey too. Probably the best thing ever, almost. Aside from wanting to cuddle up with my daddy and a bottle of warm milk and my blanket?_

_Hope that wasn’t too much too soon. It’s kinda lonely here._

_You said you travel with your friends. What do you do that you get to travel? I get to do it for hockey. We go all over the US. It’s kind of awesome._

_Can I ask where you’re from? Your vernacular’s a bit different than mine ;)_

_Jake_

He sends the message and turns back to Mike, who’s snoring loudly, curled on his side on the floor.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing a rubber ball off his desk to throw at his deadbeat roommate. “Wake up.”

Mike squawks and looks up with bleary eyes to glare as best he can. “What.”

“You’re gonna get sore laying on the floor. Get in the shower and go to bed, dumbass.”

Just as Mike groans and pulls himself up to go into the bathroom, Jake’s computer makes a little beeping noise. One he’s never heard it make before.

_Incoming instant message from LP4121424 ACCEPT/DECLINE?_

Jake arches an eyebrow and hits accept.

_LP4121424: i hope this is ok?_  
 _Flowgoal: is good :) what are you up to_  
 _LP4121424: on a bus and BOREDDD!!!! Saw u online and thought id say hello?_  
 _Flowgoal: I like that. I just got out of practice and im a little bored too. Where are you on a bus to?_  
 _LP4121424: haha i wisssh i knewwww. Niall says dublin._  
 _Flowgoal: Ireland??? That’s sick._  
 _LP4121424: I guess. Niall’s another mate of mine :) :) to answer your q, im from a small town in the middle of Britain._  
 _Flowgoal: Sweet. You almost sound too good to be true!_  
 _LP4121424: oi! I probably am! ;) You sound pretty good yourself, love._  
 _Flowgoal: why do you travel?_  
 _LP4121424: work. I literally go everywhere for my job._  
 _Flowgoal: sounds nice._  
 _LP4121424: can be. Lou’s getting impatient and when that happens i generally have a very large mess to clean up. I need to go._  
 _Flowgoal: it was nice talking to you liam._  
 _LP4121424: u 2. If you skype, ill be on in about 2 hours im this handle on there 2._  
 _Flowgoal: I do skype. Id love to see and hear you. Im hildycat30 there, so ill see you when I see you._  
 _LP4121424: ta jake xX_

\------------

Jake has _no idea_ how he's going to get Mike out of the room in two hours for an undetermined amount of time. Because there's absolutely no way he's Skyping with Liam for the first time with his roommate around. Supportive as he is, Mike's also a huge prankster that loves to mess with his best friend. And his sense of timing sucks. So Jake needs to break out the big guns.

He grabs his phone and opens a text to Will. _need a favr plz_

He grins when his phone vibrates before he's even set it back on the desk. _**no im not blowing u again fuck off**_

Jake rolls his eyes. Will's a dick sometimes. _haha u wish. i need u 2 get ferr out of here 4 a while_

_**y** _

_skypin n need privacy_

_**O_o pr0n!!!** _

_dude no just get him ouutta here_

_**y me he likes u bettr** _

_he makes moony eyes @ u when u rnt lookin. man crush!!!!_

_**ugh ur a bastard. fine. ill txt him in a sec u owe me asshole** _

True to form, Mike's phone lights up on his desk. He feels a bit like a shit, given how tired they all are after this week of hell, but desperate times and all that.

Mike stumbles out of the shower with a plume of steam and grabs his phone first thing.

"Shit!" he curses and makes a dive for his closet.

"What?" Jake’s trying really hard to keep the smirk off his face.

"Will asked me to hang out. Dinner and a movie."

Mike's throwing clothes off hangers like they're on fire and Jake is pretty sure this is hysterical, considering both are categorically straight and he's _almost_ sure Will is doing the same thing in his house right now. Boys.

"What's so funny?" Mike glares, finally holding up a plaid shirt and giving himself a once-over in the mirror.

"It's Will. Not a date. He's seen you in everything you own. You guys room together on the road."

Mike shrugs and pulls on his briefs and a t-shirt. "So? Grandma Ferrantino always said to look presentable when you go out in public."

Jake snorts. "Funny. You never do this when you go to class."

Mike flips him off and grabs his jeans. "Fuck off. Go email your boyfriend again."

"I will if you will," he grins.

Mike's out the door with his coat, keys, wallet, and phone before Jake can say another word.

Boys.

He glances at the clock and groans. The question is, what the hell is he supposed to do for two hours while he waits to Skype with a cute British boy in Ireland?

Time crawls and in the hour that follows, he's done homework (at least, he thinks he did it. He doesn't really remember any of his answers), he’s texted half of his contacts in his phone, he’s searched for some new music on iTunes, and he tried (and _failed_ ) to watch TV. Who the hell can concentrate on old reruns of Law and Order: SVU anyway? He's seen them all at least half a dozen times each.

The last half hour, he spends (unsuccessfully) talking himself out of his nerves. Liam's just a boy his age. A cute boy his age. Who travels with four other boys. A cute boy his age who travels with four other boys with accents.

He sometimes wonders if he deserves to be this lucky--scholarship to play his favorite sport at his dream school, with 26 of his best friends. The best family ever, the best friends ever, and now a cute British boy who might be the first one to understand his quirks a bit.

There's a quick knock at his door that bursts him out of his train of thought, and before he can even say, “Who’s there?” Johnny throws it open and walks in.

Dammit. He knew he should've locked it after Mike left.

_Balls._

"What?" He arches an eyebrow at his suitemate.

"I'm bored," Draegs flops down in Mike's chair. "Where's Ferr?"

"Will invited him over? I dunno. Um, I--" Jake starts, gesturing to the door.

"You're leaving, too?" he asks, making no move to stand up.

"No, but--"

"Good. I'm bored. We should do something."

"I can't."

Johnny stares at him like he's grown a second head. "Okay..."

"I don't..." Jake sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "I kind of have plans in a bit."

"But you said--" he stops himself. "Oh. _Oh_." Draegs scrambles out of his chair. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Uh, sorry. I'll go see if Woody's free." And with that, he's out the door.

The fuck? He has weird-ass friends.

It takes forever for Liam's name to come online from where Jake’s added him. Forever being a long 20 minutes and all. He clicks on him and after a few fuzzy seconds, he's face-to-face ( _ish_ ) with a very handsome, smiling guy.

The first thing he notices are Liam’s eyes. They’re brown. And soft, almost gentle. His hair is shorter than in his profile picture, spiked up on his head. He can see Liam’s wearing a plaid button down. He likes.

"Uh... hi," Jake starts smoothly. "I'm Jake?"

At least he remembers to smile back.

Liam actually waves at him. "Hullo, Jake. Liam. It's nice to see you."

 _His accent_. Jake's never actually swooned before, but he might now. It's better than he thought.

"How are you this afternoon? At least, it's afternoon here. Just..." Jake looks down at his phone a second, hating to break contact with Liam, but... "Four-thirty here. What's it over in Ireland?"

Liam grins. "It's half nine. We just got in and settled, yeah? I shoved Zayn off on Lou and Hazza for a while."

Jake assumes Zayn is his roommate. He doesn't know what kind of name Hazza is, but then, he isn't British, so he won't judge.

"I managed to get Mike to go away, too." He's suddenly reminded of Johnny's uninvited venture into his room. "Shit--I mean, shoot. Be right back!" Jake jumps up and runs to the door and throws the lock. To be safe, he locks the bathroom, too. Just in case.

"Sorry," he mutters when he sits back down. "Forgot to lock them all out."

Liam's still grinning and Jake likes to see it. His whole face is lit up. "Alright?" He blushes, and Jake doesn't know why, until he says, "Hope this isn’t forward, but I don't want my little one cursing, yeah?"

Heat floods Jake’s face and he bites his lip. “’m sorry, Liam,” he mumbles. “Won’t do it again.”

Liam nods and settles back into the chair he’s in. “Good boy. Are you having a bit of a lie-in tonight?”

Jake nods. “It’s our first night without practice in a week. I’m staying in and sleeping.” It takes him a moment to realize how completely and utterly lame he sounds. “Normally I’d go out and party with the guys, but I think we’re all pretty wiped.”

“I can relate,” Liam laughs and Jake is pretty sure that this is the moment, right here, where he knows that this guy is the right guy. “I usually like to relax after practices that kick me in the arse. Have you got any bottles, Jake?”

He immediately freezes and he can’t meet Liam’s eyes. “I—bottles?” Because he isn’t stupid, but he’s barely admitted this to himself, let alone spoken anything about it out loud and here they are, apparently jumping in ass-first to the deep end so early on.

“Maybe you put milk or juice in them?” Liam prompts.

“Milk,” Jake admits, biting his lip again. It’s a habit.

“Do you have one round? I’ve a story I’d like to read you to help relax you and a bottle will go a long way to help, too.”

Jake doesn’t have to leave his seat to reach into his fridge and dig way in the back, behind two pizza boxes, to get his bottle. He sits back up straight and holds it out for Liam to see, blushing madly and biting his lip.

“Oi!” Liam chuckles. “What’ve you got to be ashamed of? It’s a bottle. I’m proud of you for being so honest with me.” He holds up a children’s book that has a picture of three bears on it. “Go on and drink your bottle, love. I’ll read.”

And he does. Jake does as told and drinks from his bottle, one hand curled around it, watching Liam with his book. He has a great reading voice, and it makes Jake’s brain kind of fuzzy once he stops thinking too hard about what he’s doing. All he needs to do is listen to Liam and drink his bottle. He can handle that. He likes that.

“—and they lived happily ever after,” Liam finishes, making sure to show Jake the page before shutting the book and setting it beside him.

Jake grins around his bottle and pulls it out with a small pop. “I wiked dat,” he murmurs, biting his lip.

“I—“ Liam pauses and watches Jake. “I’m very glad. You’re doing alright over there?”

Jake nods and returns his bottle to his mouth so he can finish it off. Once it’s gone, he sets it next to his computer and looks at Liam, who’s watching him intently. “I… Weeyum...” he whimpers.

Dear god, he wishes Liam was there in person to hold him and help him through this. It’s his first time being taken care of, his first time playing into his needs. And Liam is in Ireland.

“D’you have a blanket, Jake?” Liam asks, eyes flashing around the screen like he’s looking for evidence of one.

Jake nods and points up. His bed is lofted and therefore his blanket would be up on top of it.

“Grab it and wrap yourself up tight. It’s as close to a real hug as I can give you,” Liam tells him.

Jake scrambles out of his desk chair and halfway up the ladder, so he can reach onto his bed and grab the blanket he keeps stashed there. It’s once he’s had since he was a baby, but it’s held up remarkably well ( _thanks to Grandma Hildebrand for knitting such a durable blanket_ ).

When he gets back to his seat, he has his blue and green blanket wrapped around as much of him as he can make it stretch to cover.

"Like I said, think of it as a hug. Since I can't do it personally, your blanket is my virtual hug."

Jake likes that idea and he tells Liam so.

"Good," he nods and smiles.

There's a loud crash somewhere in Liam's vicinity and he suddenly looks annoyed. "Oi!" he yells to someone away from the computer, "I'm Skyping! Go away!"

"Liiiii-yum," a voice calls and Liam's frown deepens.

"Are you drunk, Louis?"

Jake frowns and pulls his blanket over the lower half of his face, keeping his eyes clear to watch Liam be tackled completely out of the screen.

"LOUIS!" he can hear him squawk. It makes Jake giggle a little and he hides a little more of his face behind the blanket. One eye is still on the screen of Liam's chair.

Liam's head pokes back on and he looks like he's going to have a coronary.

"Sorry, love, but I have to take care of Louis and Harry. I knew leaving them to their own devices was a bad idea. I'll email you tonight, yeah?"

Jake nods and waves at Liam. "It was nice to talk to you."

Liam waves back and winks before his screen goes dark.

So that was Liam.

Jake likes him.

\-----------

Due to sheer exhaustion, Jake conks out shortly after nine that night. But Liam's true to his word and there's a new email from him when he wakes up at three in the morning. Seriously. He wants to know who on this earth decided it was okay to schedule flights before the sun comes up.

_I enjoyed our first skype session and ur adoooorrrrable! :) sorry about lou--he's a real dick sometimes. But now you kinda see what I mean about taking care of the lads. They're a handful._

_Tell me mooore, Jake from Michigan. I have two sisters. Nicola and Ruth are both older. I don't have any pets, but I'd like to talk my mates into a dog. Well, I know Louis and Harry would like it. I like to surf quite a lot. California is lovely for surfing... a bit busy, though. I have four tattoos and I don't much care for spoons._

_Liam x_

Jake's got a quirky smile by the time he's done reading and Mike is just rolling out of bed.

"Dude," he groans, "no more hanging out with Will before road trips. He kept me up till after midnight."

Jake turns in his chair and arches an eyebrow, " _Did he?_ "

Mike flips him off before heading into the bathroom. "Fuck off. We watched one of the Harry Potters. I don't know which one."

If Jake didn't know better, he'd swear his roommate was having an affair with his co-tender. But mostly they're a tactile and close group of guys, so he dismisses any suggestive comments and goes to get dressed.

"Where's your bag? I wanna put mine with yours so I don't forget it again," he calls to Mike, who pops out with his toothbrush dangling from his mouth.

"Buh muh reshush," Mike points to the door.

Jake rolls his eyes. "Go spit and tell me that again in English."

Mike retreats back into the bathroom and after the sink turns off, he yells, "dresser!" and shuts the door, locking it.

Jake drags his bag over and plops it down next to Mike's--hidden under his coat and scarf--before pulling jeans and a hoodie out of his own dresser. It's a day completely booked with flights across the country and they're not required to suit up for 16 hours of travel.

He shucks his green flannel pajama bottoms and pulls on clean briefs with his jeans. Mike exits the bathroom just as he's pulling on his hoodie over a Spartan Hockey polo.

That's his cue to duck into the bathroom for the necessities before they head down to the rink to meet the bus.

Which they make in plenty of time. They're one of the first ones to board and Jake flops down in an empty seat near the back, while Mike sits next to Will ( _of course_ ) near the front.

He slips on headphones, but hasn't actually put any music on yet when Nate sits down next to him.

"Yo," Nate says, nudging his shoulder as he pulls out his phone and earbuds.

Jake grunts back in greeting and waits to turn on anything until Coach gets on and gives them "The Talk" before they go. "The Talk" usually consists of telling them all to relax because it's going to be a long day of planes and buses, and that they're going to work hard in Alaska, and to try to rest on the way there, because there's going to be a short practice once they get into Fairbanks.

Practice. Just what Jake wants to do at 10:30 at night (Michigan time).

But that's hours away yet. Too far away to worry about now. So he listens to "give 100% 100% of the time" and "rest up" and "practice when we land" before closing his eyes to the dulcet tones of Josh Groban.

Hey. No one on the bus needs to know that when nobody's looking, he listens to classical music. It's good for the soul or some shit like that.

\----------

It's five and a half hours later and they're finally (finally?) in Chicago when he's awake enough to respond to his latest email.

_Liam_

_I have a sister, so i feel your pain ;) I don't really have any pets either... kinda hard to keep em in a dorm, right? I'm not really... a pet guy. I mean, if you want, sure, but for me, I could take it or leave it I guess._

_Also i really appreciated the skype session. I've never felt like that right before. Like something clicked. So thanks for that._

_Tell you mooore? hmmm. I'm on my way to Alaska with the guys. Will is sitting next to me, drooling on his own shoulder. If i were a nicer person i'd wake him up, but i'm not so ha. Maybe ill take a pic for posterity. Or somethin like that. Will is a goaltender like me. Have you ever played hockey? i kinda love it if that wasnt obvious. We're in the playoffs. We arent good this year, or as good as we should be, but i have a good feeling about this weekend._

_So i told you more about me and you should tell me more about you. like good stuff. Do you have any birthmarks? What about tattoos? (I do to both those. One is on my arm and the other is on my hip. I'm not telling you which is which yet;)_

_Jake_

He shoots off the email before take-off and shoves his phone back into his pocket. Mike is his seatmate, which Jake could take or leave.

Five minutes after their flight takes off, it turns out he could definitely leave it.

“...and then Will said that he did the splits. The splits, Jake,” Mike grins and spreads his arms wide, nearly smacking him in the face.

Jake pushes his arm away and glares half-heartedly. “We do the splits. Goalies. We kind of have to.”

As soon as the _fasten seatbelt_ sign has been turned off, Jake’s up and out of his seat, looking around the plane. “Will,” he hisses, walking down the aisle and poking his teammate’s cheek. “Will, switch seats with me.”

Never let it be said that Will Yanakeff can’t burn the paint off a barn with his glare. Because he can. And it’s one he’s fixing Jake with now.

Jake, however, is unphased. “Mike wants to talk to you. Switch me seats.”

Will ignores him and goes back to closing his eyes. “Switch. Me. Seats,” Jake whines, poking him again, this time in the shoulder. “You have to.”

Will cracks one eye this time. “No.”

“Oh, hey, there you are,” Mike says, walking up and crouching down next to Will. “I found the old Transformers show in my dvds and thought we could watch it,” he grins and Will is now openly glowering at Jake.

Problem solved, he heads back to his now-vacant row and sits back, relaxing and slipping on his headphones. A quick glance back at Will has him firmly glaring at Jake while Darny has shifted one seat over to the empty space near the window. Mike is in the middle, leaning on Will’s shoulder and pointing at something on the laptop.

He kind of owes Will, but he figures his comeuppance will come in the form of starting in goal. Jake isn’t feeling well, and it’s probably for the best if Will gets a game in. Neither goalie should be rusty in the playoffs.

\---------------

It’s damn near nine in their normal time before they’re getting into Alaska. Jake pretty much wants to curl in his bed and sleep for a week. Travel Czar Coach dictates, however, that they’re headed straight to the rink for practice, though, because it’s only five in Alaska and they need to not succumb jet lag.

They’re on a bus on the way to the arena when he pulls out his phone and opens up a blank email.

_Liam_

_I know you haven’t read my last one yet, and this isn’t really even an email so much as a complaint that I hate Alaska._

_It’s cold and snowy and I’m on spring break here. Except not really cuz we play them in the playoffs starting friday and we’re here to get used to the time difference... FOUR HOURS... and the bigger rink. Theirs is olympic sized._

_Um, not that I hate this. i don’t. but this is our second trip to alaska in 2 weeks and im a little sick of it? the travel is LONG and like i said... its cold._

_So, um, sorry about the email? but i also wanted to let you know that im now 4 hours behind what i normally am. so now we have an even bigger time difference between us :(_

_Jake_

_ps: Is it weird that I already kind of miss you?? if it is, pretend that this isn’t here. if it isn’t, :)_

He fires that off and lets it his eyes wander around the bus. Every single one of them seems to be dropping and a few--Will and Mike--have actually conked out and are sleeping, resting their head against each other. It’s kind of adorable.

So adorable, in fact, that he pulls up his camera on his phone and snaps a picture to use later as blackmail.

So much for Will and owing him one.

\---------

Practice feels like a slow death, and the fact that they’re not allowed to fall into bed immediately after only prolongs their suffering. They meet up for some games in the hotel and it’s not until it’s 10 in Alaska ( _and fucking 2 am in Michigan_ ) that Coach dismisses them and tells them to get some rest.

Ha. Like that’ll be difficult.

Jake trudges down the hall, walking into the wall at least three times on his way to the room he shares with Draeger. Johnny’s right behind him and he leans against the doorframe as Jake tries to get their door open with a key card.

“Hurry,” he groans, eyes closed.

After three unsuccessful tries, the fourth time is a charm and the little green light flickers and their door opens.

“Thank god,” Johnny drags himself into the room and drops his bag next to the first bed he comes across before falling down face-first onto it.

Jake takes the opportunity to jump into the bathroom first, getting his nightly routine out of the way so he can fall into bed and not have to move for--hopefully--at least ten hours.

But that’s being generous and he knows it.

Jake emerges from the bathroom to find Johnny _exactly_ how he left him, snoring loudly into the bed.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing an extra pillow off his bed and throwing it at his head. “Bathroom. You’re gross.”

Johnny flips him the finger and rolls off the bed and onto the floor with a dull thump. “Fuck.”

He crawls--literally--into the bathroom and flings the door shut. Jake sits on the bed and strips down to his briefs before climbing into bed and turning off the bedside light that was already on when they opened the door.

He’s dead to the world before Johnny gets out of the bathroom.

\----------------

It’s a long weekend for Jake. He’s still not feeling well Friday and Will gets the start.

He’s happy for him and Will deserves to play. He gets the win and that’s all that matters. Since he got the win on Friday, Will gets the start on Saturday, too.

They get demolished. It’s not a good game at all, for anyone.

So with the best-of-three series tied at one apiece, Coach tells Jake he’s in net for the last game. Of course he is. And Jake can do this.

This is his team, these are his boys, and he’s going to slam the proverbial door.

He does.

It’s not even close (the 4-3 score seems close, but it’s not) and Jake is... on top of the world.

Their plane takes off about two hours after their win and it’s enough time for Jake (and the guys) to get a bit hammered on several cases of beer they get from a grocery store in celebration.

While they’re waiting to board to head to Seattle, he pulls out his phone and opens another email to Liam, despite not having gotten responses to his previous two.

_Liam_

_I WONnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnN AND WE WONNNNN!!!!!!!!_

_jakeeeeeeeee :) :) :) :)_

_ps: king of the darkhorses!_

Mike just smirks at him from across the airport seating area as he slips his phone back into his pants pocket. Mike doesn’t know shit, so Jake doesn’t worry about it.

The flights home seem to take forever and it’s after nine at night ( _normal time_ ) before they get back to the dorm.

“Aww, shit,” Mike grumbles when he looks at his cell. “We missed _The Bachelor_ finale.”

“We Tivoed it,” Jake sighs and flops into his desk chair. It’s good to be home (for all of the four days they get to be back in Michigan. Having won the first-round series, they now have to travel to Oxford, Ohio on Thursday to prep for the second round. Jake doesn’t want to think about that yet. He wants to enjoy the terrible lighting and the overwhelming, oppressive heat of his dorm for just a few minutes).

Mike, dickhead that he is, doesn’t let him off the hook, though. “So,” he says, turning in his chair to look at Jake. “You’ve been emailing your internet boyfriend quite a bit this weekend.”

Jake rolls his eyes and opens his laptop, back still to his roommate. “Liam hasn’t responded.”

“I’m sorry,” Mike huffs out a laugh. “What was that? Liam?”

“Liam. Not my internet boyfriend. It isn’t like that yet. We’ve emailed a few times and skyped once.”

Jake gets his email open and is happy (and he _doesn’t_ grin like a loon) to see an email from said not internet boyfriend. He opens it before looking at anything else in his inbox.

_Jakeeeeeeeeeeeee_

_Cheers! It must feel wonnnnderful to win! i’m proud of you! Your complaints about alaska dont bother me... i understand the travel bit. it’s tough, yeah? I feel like I never know what time it is or what day it is or where I am sometimes._

_You asked about tats and birth marks! I have booothh! My birthmark is on my neck and I have tattoos on my arms. I’ll show you next time we skyyyype :)_

_As for the missing me bit... i don’t think it’s weeeird or too soon at all! I like the idea that you fancy me as much as i fancy you. it might seem fast, but in long distance, it’s harder for us._

_Speaking of skyping, id like to do that soon? im off of work most of monday so if you have any free time, it’d be nice to see you again. i’ll try to arrange it so Louis and Harry aren’t around so i’m not distracted from you :)_

_Liam xx_

_ps: have you got a dummy, in addition to your blanket and bottle?_

“Awww,” Mike’s laughing. “You have that stupid grin on your face. Liam emailed you again. See?” he points at the screen. “He’s your internet _boyfriend_.”

Jake smacks his hand away from his computer. “Go play in the road,” he says affectionately, heading into the bathroom.

\------------

It’s late Monday when Jake wakes up. Looking at his phone, he can’t even classify it as morning. God he needed to sleep like that—like the dead for... fourteen hours.

A look to his left tells him that Mike’s gone, probably in his econ class, and that means he’ll more than likely be gone until after dark.

Perfect time to check Skype, then, and see if Liam’s around.

He’s just pulled his computer up to his bed and settled with it on his lap when Liam appears on his screen.

He can’t stop--and doesn’t really care to stop--the smile that crosses his face. “Hi,” Jake says.

Liam looks to be in a hotel room, but he’s grinning and giving Jake a little wave, “Hello.”

“How are you?” Jake fidgets slightly, looking Liam up and down as subtly as he can. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt, and now that he’s mentioned the birth mark, Jake can see it on his neck. Just a tiny, slightly darker patch near his adam’s apple. His short hair is spiked up and Jake’s pretty sure he looks good.

“I’m alright. And you?”

Jake laughs, “I just woke up from sleeping for almost fifteen hours. I’m feeling great for the first time in a long time.”

“Cheers on your win, by the way,” Liam says, nodding. “Was the victory expected?”

He sighs and shrugs. “No, not at all. We kind of had an off year, so I’m just happy we’re putting it together finally.”

Liam's smile is beautiful, Jake thinks. It's awfully nice to see it so often.

"So, I have a question," Liam says after a moment, eyes watching Jake carefully. "You're allowed to say no, but hear me out, yeah?"

Jake nods, so Liam goes on, "I'd like your phone number so I can call you."

His eyes widen almost comically and Jake's jaw drops. "Oh... uh, Liam... I..." he sighs and looks down at his lap, "I don't know. It's, like, way more than long distance. International calls are really expensive, right?"

"I know that. It's why I'd be calling you and paying for the calls myself."

Well, that just makes it worse. "No! No, you can't do that. I'd feel so bad, and I can't ask—"

"You aren't asking, love. I'm offering. I can't always make Skype sessions, and I'm rubbish at responding to emails, but I think if I could just call you sometimes, it'd be lovely to hear your voice."

Jake's blushing now, can feel the heat lighting up his cheeks. He bows his head, so his hair is covering most of his face, but looks up to see Liam gently smiling.

"I promise that I can afford to cover all the costs of calling you. I wouldn't ask if I couldn't."

He heaves another sigh and turns it over in his head. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't hesitate. As it is, he really _likes_ Liam, and if he had more of an opportunity to talk to him and hear that sexy accent? Yeah.

Downside? The guilt of knowing it costs an arm and a leg to talk. Jake would spend the entire time trying to get off the phone with him. 

"Liam, I--" he starts, but is interrupted by Liam jutting out his lower lip and leveling him with puppy-dog eyes in what is the best pout Jake's seen since, well, he tried that with his mom three years and caught a look at himself in the rearview mirror while she was driving him home from practice.

"Please?" he asks.

And that's it. Sexy British accent and a pout. "Fine," Jake grumbles. "But I thought pouting was my area of expertise."

"I have two sisters," Liam reminds him. "It comes in handy."

Jake glares at him and pops a thumb into his mouth. Then something occurs to him.

"Wait," he says, pulling his thumb out. "Weeeeyum," he whines a little.

"Yes?"

"Does youses pwefur 'daddy' or 'Weeyum'?"

And holy shit, Liam's grin is almost blinding. He takes a minute to consider before saying, "Either works, yeah. Whichever you're comfortable with."

Then he remembers Liam's email, and another question pops in his head. "Whas a dummy?"

Liam arches an eyebrow. "A dummy?" He frowns, considering. "The thing a baby sucks on?"

"Pacifier!"

"... _right_ ," Liam laughs. "Pacifier. Do you have one?"

Jake shakes his head, biting his lip. “Nooope. I wanted ta get one, but I... I fought it would wook funny, me buying a pacifier.”

Liam arches his eyebrows. “You have a bottle?” he points out, clearly memorable from their first Skype session.

Jake shrugs. He doesn’t really understand the logic himself. But he was in the store, and he was walking down the baby aisles, and he _couldn’t resist_ the bottle. He told the cashier it was for his sister, who’d just had a baby. She’d giggled at him and congratulated him on being an uncle.

Jake’s a liar, pretty much. But he just smiled sheepishly at her, because he liked having the bottle, even though he’d never used it before Liam asked him to.

Sure, he kept it filled with milk, and hidden deep within the recesses of his dorm-sized fridge, but it’d been an inside joke almost, a “ha ha” taunting him from behind a couple pizza boxes and some beer.

Liam showed him it was possible to get something out of that bottle, something that settled deep in his gut and made him feel at home with himself for the first time in a long time.

“You should get one soon,” Liam advises, nodding. “It’ll help.”

Jake just sighs. “So, Weeyum, what does you do to twavel wif youses fwiends?”

There’s a fleeting look of terror that crosses his face before it goes more or less impassive, and Jake’s confused by his reaction. Liam’s never been anything but open and happy in either of their chats.

“I-- well, right now, we’re doing work for some charities in the UK.”

Jake blinks and wonders what on earth could be terrifying about that. “Dats... wewwy nice, Weeyum.”

He looks relieved. “It is, yeah. So you’re excited for... Miami?”

He stares at Liam. “Miami... yeah. How’d you know?”

A blush seems to be creeping up Liam’s neck and Jake finds him absolutely adorable. “I... might have looked it up online? That alright?”

Jake nods, “Yeah. ‘s good. I’m wewwy essited. I might even get to pway, since I winned wast. Depends, I fink.”

“I wish you and your ice hockey team many happy victories, young Jake,” Liam says.

“Oh, I hope so. I wike winning.”

Liam laughs loudly, throwing his head back and Jake likes to see that. He’s beautiful.

“Youses pwetty, Weeyum.”

“Cheers, Jake. You’re quite handsome yourself.”

“Weeyum?” Jake’s suddenly curious about something.

“Jake?”

“What’s youses fwiends wike? Wou and Hawwy and aww of dem?”

“Oh, they’re something else, really,” Liam’s entire face softens and he looks sort of wistfully at Jake. “Louis’ loud and abrasive, except he’s really not. He’s just used to having to compete for attention quite a lot. He has a lot of sisters. He likes getting us all into a bit of trouble, he does. Been almost kicked out of a hotel or two because of him. Harry... is... almost Lou’s opposite, all quiet and the like? But they get on thick as thieves, causing all sorts of trouble. Always together, Louis and Harry are, never find one without the other close. Not that any of us tend to stray far. Zayn is even more quiet than Harry, likes to keep to himself. We don’t let him, though. We drag the fun right out of him. He’s quite lovely, my Zayn. Sometimes I think he’d rather draw and sketch than work, but he tells us it’s just a hobby. And then there’s my dear, sweet Niall. My little Irish ball of sunshine. Oh, he’s too wonderful, Niall is. He brings out the best in everyone. He’s brilliant. I quite adore him.”

Jake grins and thinks of how Liam’s friends remind him of his teammates. He honestly doesn’t know what he’d do without the guys. All of them are absolutely his best friends in the world.

“My guys are wike dat. Mike is... my bestest fwiend hewe. He’s funny and he wikes to hewp me wif my pwobems. He went to da wink wif me once and did dwills wif me for wike hours. It was... nice of him. He had cwass aww the next day. And Wiww? Wiww is awesome. I know he wikes to pway, but he pushes me to make me bettew and sometimes I pway more than him cuz of it.”

“They sound lovely, Jake.”

“They awe.”

His stomach growls loudly and he groans.

“Something wrong?” Liam looks mildly concerned.

“I hasn’t eaten yet. I woke up and hewe I is.”

Liam’s eyes flick offscreen and he nods. “Well, you need to eat, and sadly, I have a bit of work to be done.”

Jake pouts, big eyes and lower lip pushed out. He can do it better than Liam. “Five mowe minutes?”

“Jake,” Liam narrows his eyes slightly. “You need to eat.”

“I wiww!” he promises. “In five minutes! Pwease!”

“Fine,” Liam sighs, but he’s fighting a smile. “Five more minutes. Then you’re going to eat a healthy... lunch.”

Jake nods. “Uh huh. I is. So what work?”

“Um, I think we’re doing some media work tonight. An interview?”

“Sounds boring.”

“It is, a bit, I suppose.”

“I gots homewowk to do,” Jake grumbles. “Stats and economics.”

“That doesn’t sound like much fun at all.”

“It isn’t,” he wrinkles his nose. “No funs for Jake today.” Jake blinks. “Cept for now! Now is fun.”

Liam winks at him. “It’s fun for me, too.”

“Does aww you guys do the same thing?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “Pretty much. But we all do it differently.”

“Oh. Ohtay.”

“How many goalies are there, Jake?”

“Um, deres me... n Wiww... and Nate, but Nate onwy pways in pwactice. He’s fird-stwing.”

“I’m going to try to talk to you before you play next,” Liam says. “I’m a little busy, but I’ll try.”

Jake nods, because he understands. “Don’t wowwy if youses can’t. I understand.”

Liam blows him a kiss. “I’ll talk to you soon, love. Go get some food.”

Jake grins as he catches Liam’s kiss and presses it to his forehead. “I wiww. Twavel safe, Weeyum.”

“Goodbye,” he waves a little, and Jake’s screen is blank.

\------------

Oxford does not go well for him. They’re rolling on Friday night, and he’s unbeatable, and they win 2-0. Saturday, though, the shit hits the fan like they knew it would, and Miami comes storming back to tie the series. He gets food poisoning Sunday morning, and Coach tells him he’s in net if he can make it, so he tries, he really does.

But between the first and second periods, he’s throwing up everything all over again and he’s on the bench for the rest of the game.

They lose the series and are eliminated from the playoffs, and to make matters worse, their bus home doesn’t even leave until the next morning.

Liam didn’t get a chance to talk to him before they left, which leaves a sour taste in his mouth (even though he promised Liam he was fine), but by the time they haul themselves back to campus on Monday afternoon, Jake is itching to talk to him. He’s lonely, needs comfort, and hates being sick.

It’s a sad, pathetic trifecta.

He’s no sooner faceplanted in his bed when Mike lays down next to him.

“So you’ve been awfully quiet on the subject of your boyfriend.”

Jake tenses, eyes closed beside his roommate. “Uh... he’s not--”

“If you say he’s not your boyfriend, I’m going to beat you with your gear bag.”

He rolls his eyes. “You can’t lift my bag. But I’m not sure he is. I mean, we talk a lot, kind of, but we haven’t really put labels on anything.”

Mike pokes his arm. “If you saw the looks you get on your face anytime a new email pops up, or the look you had for days after you Skyped with him... dude. He makes you happy, you two are... doing whatever you do, long-distance. It’s a boyfriend-boyfriend situation.”

“It’s only been a few weeks. But... maybe I’ll ask him next time we talk.”

“Good,” he says, pulling Jake’s blanket up over the both of them. “I wanna tease you about your boyfriend.”

“You’re a douche,” Jake mutters, burrowing into Mike’s side and wrapping an arm around his waist.

\----------------------

Twenty minutes after Jake’s final class Tuesday night, his phone buzzes with a call from an unknown number. An unknown number with too many numbers in it.

He doesn’t normally make a habit of answering calls from numbers he doesn’t recognize, but he has a safe bet that he knows who it’s going to be. “Hello?” he asks hesitantly.

“Is this Jake?” A soft British accent floats over the line to him and Jake stops walking. He’s just outside the entrance to his dorm, but Mike is upstairs, and this isn’t a conversation Mike needs to hear.

“Weeyum?” he whispers, walking away from the building and toward a path into some trees.

“Hey, Jakey. I missed you.”

He melts. He’s going to be a puddle of human goo on the sidewalk. “I... I miss you, too. Wots.”

“How did your series go?”

Jake stumbles into a small clearing in the trees that leads to a massively large and entirely empty field. So, given that there’s no snow on the ground (however temporarily, it being Michigan and all), he plops down and lays back on the grass. His backpack makes a highly uncomfortable but passable pillow.

“I... I was bad. I didn’t pway well. Ouw season’s done.”

“Love, it isn’t all your fault. You’re only one man.”

Liam’s voice is comforting, but it doesn’t do anything to ease the fact that their season was over.

“Yeah, but I’m da _wast wine of defense_ , Weeyum. I shoulda been mowe sowid.”

“Just think about how good your team will be next season, yeah? All this experience you’ve had.”

Jake’s beginning to think arguing against a British accent is impossible. So instead of continuing where he knows he won’t win, he decides to change the subject, “Uh huh. How was youses week, Weeyum? Did you has funs?”

“I’ve been busy working a lot, and missing this little guy I’ve been talking to in Michigan.”

A grin creeps up on Jake’s face and he curls up on his side in the grass. “Rewwy? You tink about me wots?” He has to shift a bit, because something sharp in his backpack is trying to jab him in the temple. Probably not safe.

Liam’s soft laugh over the phone makes Jake shiver happily. “Yes, Jake. I think about you all the time. Quite distracting, you are.”

“I sowwy,” he says, but Jake’s pretty sure he’s not really. He likes knowing Liam thinks about him.

“Don’t be. I haven’t fancied someone this much in ages.”

It’s cold outside and Jake is absolutely freezing. But his dorm isn’t safe grounds for anything Liam-related right now. He’ll survive.

He hopes.

“So, um, I gots a question...” and Jake is unsure, because this is something that he and Mike have talked about before, but not he and Liam. And it could be a bit too soon.

“You can ask anything.”

“Mike’s been teasin me, cawwin you my boyfwiend...” He trails off, because yeah. That’s what his douchebag roommate’s been doing.

There’s a soft chuckle. “Would you like that?”

Jake can’t answer, because his heart’s leapt up into his chest. Liam’s not mad at him for implying things about their relationship.

“Because if you called me your boyfriend, I could call you mine,” Liam says, and Jake can tell he’s smiling over the line. There’s just something about his voice. 

“Okay. I can do dat. And you can do dat. We can be boyfwiends.”

“I’d very much like that.”

“Me, too,” he sighs softly and looks up. His breath is curling away from him, all wispy-like, because it’s fucking cold outside. And it’s cloudy, but Jake can see where the moon should be, dimmed behind cloud cover. “Hey, Weeyum?”

“Jacob?”

Oh. A new name. He likes that. “I wike dat,” he tells Liam, biting his lip.

“Is that what your name is short for?”

“Nope, but I wike it anyway. No one’s evew cawwed me Jacob.”

“Probably because it’s not really your name, but I’ll call you my little Jacob.”

“I wanna be yours, ’n you’re my daddy.”

“Mmhmm. Oh, uh... about that....” Liam trails off and Jake sits upright.

Has he misunderstood? Has this not been what they’ve been shooting for the whole time? Jake had asked and Liam had said calling him Daddy was okay, but maybe it isn’t. Maybe it freaks Liam out too much.

Jake’s just about to apologize, mouth open to do so, when Liam continues, “I hope it’s no bother, but I sent you a parcel.”

Jake’s mouth snaps shut and he blinks. “Escuse me? You sented me a what?”

“A package.” Liam explains. “A gift?”

“You... but, Weeyum, you can’t!”

He barks out a short peal of laughter. “Yes, I can. And I did.”

“What is it?” Jake asks, heartbeat returning to somewhere in the range of not heart-attack-inducing.

“Oi! I can’t very well tell you. Would ruin the surprise, it would.”

Jake can’t help but laugh. “Fank you. I... fank you, Weeyum.”

Then something occurs to him.

“Wait. Weeyum?”

“Jacob?”

“How’d you know where to send my pwesent?”

There’s a very long pause. Jake picks at the grass he’s sitting on, waiting while Liam comes up with something to tell him.

“Well, I... I’m very well-connected.”

He laughs quietly. “Youse knows peoples?”

“I do.”

“Wike... da mob? Or... wike... FBI? Hey, do you know James Bond? Agent Weeyum, Double-Oh-Seven!”

For whatever reason, be it the cold air, or the fact he’s just happy, this makes him squeal with laughter, the idea of Liam as a secret agent man.

In a tux.

Oh _my_.

That image sets about an entirely different image and Jake chokes off his laughter, coughing quietly.

“I’m not James Bond, Jacob. I’m rubbish with weapons. I do box, though.”

“I never did that,” Jake told him. “No tawent fow it. I just pway hockey. I did a widdle gymnastics, though. Stwetches.”

“Did I tell you I’ve gotten a dog?”

Jake’s pretty sure he’s misheard. “What?”

Liam travels more than _he_ does, and Jake can’t imagine having an animal to take care of with how much he’s on the road.

“A dog, yeah. He’s called Loki.”

“You got a dog,” he repeats. “Why?”

“I dunno, actually. Saw it and couldn’t resist. I think he reminded me of you.”

“A dog reminded you of me.”

“Are we playing a game where you repeat everything I say?”

“Yes, because I don’t understand why someone who travels as much as you do got a dog.”

“See? You didn’t repeat there. I win.”

“ _Weeyum_. A dog?”

“I’ll send you a picture when we hang up, love. He’s quite adorable.”

“He’s at least well-behaved?”

“The best. He’ll stay with a friend when I can’t take him with me. Sometimes I can.”

“You’re kinda weird, Weeyum Payne.”

“I’m aware. Are you in your dorm?” Liam asks.

“Um... sorta? I’m cwose to it.”

There’s a short pause while Liam seems to figure out what he’s saying. “Jacob, you’re not outside, are you?”

“Uh huh. Dere’s a nice field not too faw fwom my dowm.”

“Isn’t it cold there?”

“It’s wike 25 degwees.”

“That’s cold?” And Jake remembers that the British are weird and they use weird measuring systems.

“I can see my bwef!” he says, which should be all the explanation needed.

“Jacob!” He sounds offended. “Get inside your dorm right now! You’ll catch ill outside!”

“But Mike’s inside and I can’t tawk to youse inside! Weeyum, it’s not so bad!” Except that it is, and he’s probably going to catch pneumonia. No telling Liam that, though.

“Jacob Hildebrand, you get inside your dorm _right now_.”

Jake sighs and stands up, brushing himself off with his free hand. “Fine. Weeyum, youse no funs. I’m goin’, I’m goin’.”

“That’s a good lad. Get inside. Do you have homework?”

Jake squawks indignantly and glares at his phone. “Daddy! No fairs askin bouts that! I’m a good student!”

“That’s not what I asked.” Liam’s voice was firm and it made Jake groan. “Do you have homework?”

“...Yes,” he mutters after a moment.

“Then I’m going to leave you for the night and I promise I’ll ring you again soon. Or Skype. Or text. Or email.”

Jake giggles a bit in spite of himself and heads back up the path that leads him back to his dorm. He knows Liam is right, but it’s not often he gets to talk to him.

“Weeyum, ‘s not fair. I wike tawking to youses.”

Liam sighs, “I know, love. But it’s late here and I have an early alarm, yeah? I promise, I won’t wait as long to talk to you.”

He’s walking as slowly as he can, but it doesn’t take long to be at the front doors of his dorm. “Weeyum,” he whispers, in case anyone’s around. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. I really do. Do you know what I do when I miss you too much?”

“What?”

“I pull up your picture on my phone and then just think of the first time we’ll meet. I want you to curl up with your blankie and your bottle--warm it up first, love--and then curl up in bed. Think of a story to tell me next time we talk. How would we meet if it were up to you?”

A slow smile crawls up Jake’s face and he pulls the door to his dorm open. The first burst of warmth hits him and he whimpers. He’s probably been outside too long, and Liam’s right, he’ll probably have a cold (or pneumonia) soon.

Worth it, definitely worth it.

“I can do that, daddy,” he says quietly, heading up the stairs to the fourth floor.

“’s a good boy, Jacob. Have a good night, love.”

“You, too, Liam.”

He’s no sooner opened the door to his dorm room when Liam’s text tone sounds from his pocket. He pulls it out and the picture on his screen makes him grin.

[ ](http://s279.photobucket.com/user/mshkfk/media/photo15.jpg.html)

It _is_ a cute dog.

\--------------

Liam doesn’t lie. They don’t go more than three days without some form of communication, and it’s usually a Skype or a phone call. Their relationship is blossoming and Jake’s starting to consider using the L-word when talking about this wonderful British man that’s stepped into his life. Mike, Will, Johnny, and the rest of the guys all know about him and are happy for Jake. Mike’s even Skyped with Jake once or twice when Liam called. He doesn’t think Liam’s accent is as sexy as Jake does, but he does find it hilarious. Jake’s had to throw school supplies of various shapes and sizes at him to get him to stop mocking it when Jake’s trying to do work.

He also wasn’t lying about the present he sent. Liam had gone to the store and found him a couple binkies to use, and had actually gotten him a hockey baby blanket with _Jacob_ embroidered on it. It was absolutely perfect and Jake had thanked him profusely when Liam called the day after it arrived.

And in an email sent _when_ it arrived.

And in a Skype session several days later.

And via text at least three times.

Jake tends to use the binkies more than his bottle (the bottle is for special occasions, or when he’s really, _really_ missing Liam), finding it quite the source of comfort and relaxation. It’s almost like he’s able to step back out of his own head and just... be quiet. No thinking, other than about how Liam would be proud of him, and what Liam might feel like if he was holding him.

The rest of the school year passes in a fairly mundane way once hockey season is wrapped. Before Jake knows it, though, it’s May and he’s packing up to go back to Butler, Pennsylvania.

He knows Liam’s in Belgium, so it’s a bit of a surprise when his computer beeps and Liam’s face is suddenly on-screen.

“Hello, love,” he’s smiling (barely) when Jake pokes his head down from his bed.

“Liam!” he yelps, scrambling down the ladder and jumping into his desk chair. “I wasn’t expecting you!” He peers at his clock on his laptop. “Isn’t it kind of... like almost three am there?”

Liam looks exhausted. There are bags under his eyes and he just... looks like he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. Jake knows he’s been working all the time, from Britain in March and April, to Spain a few weeks ago, to Belgium, where he is now. All the guys are exhausted. Sometimes Jake gets to talk with Louis and Harry and Zayn and Niall. Every once in awhile, Liam will let them be around when they Skype (just like, Jake supposes, he lets Mike sit in). They’re absolutely hilarious and Jake can tell they bring out the best in Liam, for which he’s grateful, because he also knows Liam brings out the best in them.

“It’s late, yes. But I’ve been missing you something awful and I couldn’t sleep anyway. Zayn’s snoring a bit and it’s been keeping me up.”

Zayn’s snoring usually doesn’t bother Liam. It normally lulls him to sleep. Something’s bothering him, and once Jake figures that much out, he can see the worry lines next to his eyes, the soft set of the frown that is his new default expression.

“Li, what’s going on? You look more than tired.” Jake bites his lip as he watches Liam rub his hands roughly over his face and then shrug.

“I’m just tired is all. I really haven’t slept in about two nights.”

“Can I help?” he asks, concerned.

“You always help. Would you tell me a story?”

Jake smiles softly and nods. “Course I will. Lay down, Li. Put your computer on the nightstand. I’ll talk you to sleep, okay?”

He knows for a fact that Zayn could sleep through World War III, so he’s not at all worried about waking Liam’s roommate. He’s slept through many of their conversations, for which Jake is interminably grateful, because otherwise he and Liam would be incommunicado a lot of the time.

Liam does as he’s told and Jake watches him (from the nightstand) climb into bed, wearing only briefs.

Damn.

Jake would absolutely spend all day cuddled up into that, sucking and licking every part of Liam’s body he could get his hands on (which would be all of it). He’s built and gorgeous, and he’s got endless patience and he adores Jake and they both take care of each other. It works for them quite well.

Liam curls up under the hotel comforter and Jake can see just his head poking out from the blanket.

“Alright, daddy, here we go.” Jake’s had this detailed in his head for weeks now. It’s the story he tells himself every time he really can’t stand to be without Liam. “Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived all alone. He was old enough to be without his parents, but he didn’t really know how to take care of himself.”

He pauses to watch Liam’s eyes flutter a little before settling back on the computer screen.

“He was a sad little boy who just kind of puttered through his life, not doing much of anything.”

“He _puttered_ through his life?” Liam asks, smiling a little.

“I like the word, so sue me,” Jake sticks his tongue out. “Now would you like to critique my word choice some more, or can I continue?”

“Go on.”

“Thank you,” Jake rolls his eyes. “Okay, so the boy was just going through the motions. But then one day, he took a chance. He knew something was different about him, he just didn’t know what. He went on the computer and he found out he liked to be taken care of. His mom and his dad had done a good job, but Jake—that’s the boy’s name—sometimes needed more help to feel like the best version of himself. Jake decided to take it upon himself to sign up for a very sketchy dating website.”

“Hey,” Liam interjects. “It wasn’t _sketchy_. I’m a very proper Brit. I don’t do _sketchy_.”

“It was sketchy, Weeyum. Now hush and let me tell the story!”

“Alright, love. Go ahead and keep on.”

“The boy doesn’t expect anything from the dating site. It was just kind of done on a whim, so when he gets some emails, he barely bothers looking at them. Except one email sticks out, for whatever reason. It’s not from some creepy old guy twice his age; it’s from someone his age who understands. That’s what makes him pay attention. So despite all his worries, he responds to the email. The boy on the other end is as wonderful as he could’ve hoped. He takes all the feelings that have been building up inside and releases them and makes him feel something he hasn’t felt in years: comfort and homeliness.”

“Jacob, this is a lovely story,” Liam says through a yawn. “I quite like it.”

“Liam,” Jake hisses. “Shut _up_. I’m not _done_.”

He chuckles a bit and his eyes close. Good.

“So the boys continue their talk, despite being separated by all the miles in the world. They couldn’t be farther apart if they tried. But then one day, the now-happy boy gets home from school and finds his boyfriend waiting for him. The boy can’t do much, just stare, because it’s so impossible, so improbable, that they would ever meet. But here they are, on the same continent, in the same house, breathing the same air. They’re getting to be together for the first time. Slowly, so as not to scare him off, the boyfriend walks up to him, and calls him by the name only he uses, and he says, ‘ _Jacob, I’ve waited too long to see you. I’ve missed you, love. But now I feel like I’m home_.’” Jake does the last bit in a poor imitation of a British accent (though it’s better than anything Mike could do), and Liam grumbles from his pillow,

“I don’t sound like that.”

“Yes, you do,” Jake grins, because Liam’s eyes haven’t cracked since he started this part of his story. He’s almost asleep, which is the goal.

“Anyway, Liam—that’s the boyfriend, in case you were wondering—presses one soft hand against Jacob’s cheek, and gently kisses him. It’s their first kiss and Jacob finds home and safety and happiness all rolled up in that one press of lips. They’re happy, Liam and Jacob. They spend the day and night together, learning the physical tics that they couldn’t have known from all the distance that separated them, and they fit together perfectly like Jacob knew they would.”

Liam snuffles a little and one eye cracks open. “And that’s the story of our first meeting?”

Jake grins and nods. “Yuh-huh. Yep. ‘s how I espect it to go down, Weeyum.”

“I think that sounds lovely. I’d like that to happen, too. So I hope you aren’t bothered when I tell you it might be happening sooner than you think.”

Jake freezes as he’s leaning forward to grab a book off his desk. “Escuse me?”

“I’m traveling to the States in June, Jacob.”

Jake blinks. “I don’t... I don’t know if I heard you right.”

“I’m going to meet you. Next month. A little over a month, actually.”

“Really? You’re... you’re coming here?”

“Not... there there, Jacob. But close, ye—” he stops speaking to let out a loud yawn. “Yeah. I’ll let you know more later, but I think I’m going to fall asleep on you.”

“O-okay, Li. Go to bed. I’ll... you’ve... I can’t tell you how excited I am right now.”

“Me, too, love. Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, Jacob.”

Liam disappears, so Jake closes his computer and sits back in his seat.

Liam’s coming to the US. Somewhere near to Jake, and they’re going to get to meet. And maybe spend some time together. And Jake knows, realistically, that it won’t happen like he’s been saying, but that doesn’t even matter. Liam is crossing _the Pond_ as he calls it, and he’s coming to the States, and they’re finally going to meet.

Holy. _Shit_.

\----------------

 

Jake's mom is reading in the family room when he wanders in, the night after he gets home for the summer. It's never been uncommon to find her curled up with a book and a glass of merlot.

"Mom?" Jake sits next to her and leans against her shoulder.

"There's my boy. I thought you'd run off to Michigan for good," she smiles, resting her cheek on his head. It's comforting in a way he only really feels with Liam anymore.

"Could never live there forever. Miss home too much," he tells her, closing his eyes.

"You like it, though? School? You seemed happy when we visited in February."

Jake nods, knows he's jostling her head a little bit. "Yeah, it's great. I love the campus, and the guys are all awesome. But it isn't home, you know?"

She laughs. "I know. I miss Montana sometimes, but this is my home now. Pennsylvaia's been good to me."

"Where's Morgan?" Jake's younger cousin has been living with them for a couple years now, since her parents both died in Afghanistan when Jake was still in high school. She's only thirteen, and he can't imagine suffering that kind of loss and still moving on with life. But he loves her like his own sister, and he knows Jaime--his blood sister--feels the same way. They'd do anything for her; the girl has everyone wrapped around her finger.

"Oh, you know," his mom waves her hand dismissively. "Doing whatever thirteen-year-olds do these days. Probably off trying to start an internet revolution over that new band she loves so much."

Jake huffs a laugh, because he hasn't even been home two full days yet and he's already had more than enough of hearing about One Direction. He's glad he's not that age anymore.

"And Dad's out fishing with Jaime?"

"It's just us, kiddo. Why? D'you want something?"

He sighs and she chuckles. "Ah, a Mom Talk. Okay. Out with it, mister. What's going on in that head of yours?"

He hesitates, unsure of exactly what to say first.

"Do you think it's possible to... I don't know... fall in love with someone you've never met in person?"

She doesn't tense up, doesn't move, except to bring a hand up and run it through Jake's hair. She's always liked his hair long.

"I suppose it is. It has to be, I'd imagine. Is there—have you met someone, Jake?"

The barest of smiles pulls on his lips. "Yeah, I mean, I think. I haven't met him, _per se_ , but we talk a lot, I've Skyped with him. So I know what he looks like. But he lives in England, Mom."

She whistles low. "That's a bit of a long distance relationship you've got going there."

"Yeah."

"When did Mr. Brit pop into the picture?"

He shrugs. "I dunno, a couple months ago? February or March. Ish."

"So eloquent there, Jake. I've always liked that about you."

" _Mom_. I'm trying to talk to you here."

She laughs, but then quiets herself. "Sorry, sorry. Go on. What's his name?"

"His name's Liam. He's so... Mom, he's perfect. I--I think I love him."

She buries her face in his hair and he can feel her smile. "You've never met Perfect Liam, though?"

He sighs loudly and shakes his head a bit. "No. But in person. But it feels right."

"What does Perfect Liam do?" she pulls back a bit and looks down at him, her hand moving away from his hair to take one of his hands.

"Um, he works with charities and goes around raising awareness. I think," he tells her, biting his lip. Liam's always been fairly ambiguous about what he does, but that's the gist, from what Jake's gotten from him.

"That sounds quite interesting."

Jake shrugs. "Yeah, I guess. We don't talk about it a lot."

"How did you meet Perfect Liam?" He can feel her trying to hold in her giggles, because she's teasing him, and his mom's kind of a dork.

"You can stop calling him that. Like, forever. But I found him... um, on a dating site?"

She pulls back harshly from him, jerking to look him in the eye. "Jake Hildebrand! What were you doing on a _dating site_? What did you--you're on a college campus! Aren't there plenty of guys there? You could've gone to... I don't know... isn't there a club or something?"

She's not mad, he can tell, though she's confused. But there are really some things you _can't_ tell your mother, and about your infantilism is one of those things.

"Mom. Seriously. Calm down. I'm an athlete. I can't just go to those meetings. I'm out to you, and to the guys, but there are plenty of people who _can't_ know that the star goaltender for Michigan State is gay."

She pulls him close again and they settle into one another, her arm now wrapped around his back. "Sorry, hun," she murmurs. "I'm just a little old lady in some ways. Online dating has this weird connotation."

"Yeah, but it's not like that,” he insists. “Liam isn't a creeper."

"I know, Jake."

"He's coming to the States soon, though. Actually, I mean, we want to meet in June."

"Huh," she says. "Okay. Is he coming to Pennsylvania then?"

He shakes his head. "No, Ohio. June 18th. I'm going to go out and meet him."

His mom pulls back again, this time not harshly. "Who're you taking with you?"

Jake frowns. "Taking with me? No one."

"Jake, you're not going out of state to meet some guy that you met on the internet by yourself. I may be young, but I wasn't born yesterday on the back of a turnip truck. As nice as he may seem by Skype and phone and however else you communicate, he could still be an axe murderer in his night-time profession."

" _Mom_ , I'm 19."

She levels him with a look that could wither plant-life. "And you're still my son. You're going to at least take someone to make sure you don't turn up in a ditch on the I-80."

"Fine," he sighs. "I'll take Jaime."

His sister is a black-belt in Judo, but also his best friend in the entire world. They've been inseparable since he was 4 and Jaime got him to eat four worms and a snail on a dare.

"Atta boy," his mom lightly punches his shoulder. "She'll protect you."

Jake rolls his eyes. "From what? Liam's British accent? Or his irrational fear of spoons? Mom, it's going to be fine."

"I'm sure it will be, but I'm nothing if not prepared."

“Seriously, it’s going to be okay. Maybe I can set Jaime up with one of Liam’s friends. They work together.”

His mom pushes up off the couch and pads into the kitchen with her wine glass. “Refill,” she announces. “She’s got a boyfriend, though, kiddo. You remember Ryan.”

Jake rolls his eyes. He remembers Ryan. Ryan is a dolt whose favorite pastime is talking about Star Wars. To anyone or anything who’s listening (or who can’t get away fast enough). “Sure. But if he has a British accent, one of these guys will be sure to woo her away. Ryan’s not exactly a catch.”

“Jake! Jake, guess what!” Morgan tackles him onto the couch, literally coming out of nowhere (as far as Jake can tell, anyway).

He catches her with an oof and shifts so she’s sitting in his lap. “I know. Your teeth turned into peppermint sticks over night.”

She rolls her eyes and tugs on his hair. “Nope. Uncle Russ got me One Direction tickets!”

Jake blanches at his mother, who’s walked back into the room and is settling back down next to them. “Oh. Really.”

“He says you can take me!”

His eyes widen and he looks at his mom. “No. Um, I have to go back to school soon.”

“Nuh uh. They checked your schedule. They said you can take me cuz they’re going to Hawaii and Jaime’s going to be in Toronto.”

“Mom!” he ignores Morgan, who’s bouncing excitedly. “Mom, I’m _not_ taking her to that concert. Every twelve-year-old girl in the tri-state area’s going to be there.”

She doesn’t look bothered, which annoys Jake, because she’s perfectly content sacrificing her only son to the angry hordes of crazy teenage girls.

“It’ll be fine. You might even have fun.”

He’s content to glare at her for the rest of the night, but Morgan’s up and out of his lap, dragging him into the kitchen. “Let’s celebrate with ice cream!”

“I hate you,” he hisses at his mom as he’s pulled away.

She just winks.

\-------------------

[](http://s279.photobucket.com/user/mshkfk/media/liamjaketext.jpg.html)

\------------------

In celebration of leaving for Ohio in two days, Jake and Jaime go shopping for clothes.

Rather, _Jaime_ goes shopping for clothes, and they go out for lunch and she pretty much coos over how cute he and Liam will be together.

“You know you’re not coming to my lunch, right? Like, you can sit in the car and wait for me to be done, but I’m meeting him alone. Without spies.”

“Relax, James Bond. I looked up the restaurant. There’s a coffee shop across the street. I’ll go there.” Jaime takes a sip of her mojito. “You can come get me when you’re done with your date. Or you can text me and tell me you’re going to have crazy hot sex in his hotel room. Wait, don’t text me that. I don’t want to think about my baby brother boning another guy.”

Jake facepalms and shakes his head. “Really, Jaime? Really? Just... go for coffee, and go back to _our_ hotel room, and don’t worry so much. Trust me, you’ll hear from me if anything goes bad.”

“Yeah, Jake. Sure,” she laughs and they get through lunch without him being anymore embarrassed by her than he usually is.

They get back home and Morgan is plopped in the family room, watching TV, so he cuts through the family room to go drop his bags in his room before joining his mom in the kitchen.

He’s nearly in the hall when Morgan must turn up the volume on whatever she’s got on the TV.

_“No, Eleanor’s not able to travel with us this leg of the tour. Might fly out when we get out to Cali, though, maybe.”_

And Jake freezes.

He’s heard that voice before.

His heart is beating loudly in his chest, fast and hard, and he turns back slowly to see what Morgan’s got on TV.

It’s MTV, the logo clear in the corner. At the bottom of the screen is a banner that reads _One Direction LIVE and answering YOUR questions!_

And sure enough, there’s Louis, smiling tightly at the interviewer.

Next to Louis is Harry. Niall is to Harry’s right, and Zayn to Niall’s right.

Liam is sitting on the far end, when the camera zooms out, right next to Zayn.

_“Liam, you and Danielle had a recent addition earlier this year. It was a dog?”_

Liam laughs on screen and is nodding. “ _Loki, yeah. He’s not able to tour in the States, of course, but Danielle loves having him at home with her. She says she’s not as lonely when I’m gone and she has the pup._ ”

Jake knows who Loki is—has seen plenty of cute pictures of the dog that Liam’s sent him. He even Skyped with Loki in Liam’s lap a couple times. But he has _no idea_ who Danielle is. She doesn’t sound like just a friend. There’s sort of an implication.

Clutching his bags tight in his fists, he whirls around and storms back into his room, closing the door firmly behind him. He locks it.

The bags end up thrown haphazardly in the closet, while Jake dives for his laptop and googles _Liam Payne_.

_One Direction’s Liam Payne denies more rumours he’s leaving the band!_  
 _Liam Payne of One Direction argues with fan on Twitter!_  
 _Liam Payne and Danielle Peazer - Wedding bells in the future?_

_Liam Payne (Real_Liam_Payne) on Twitter_

_Liam Payne / Tumblr_

_Liam Payne - One Direction Wiki_

_Images for Liam Payne:_

And sure enough. Liam is all over google; tens of _thousands_ of images of his Liam. Everywhere.

Jake slams his laptop closed and tosses it onto his desk, not really caring that something might break. His hands are shaking and he doesn’t... _understand_ , he doesn’t _know_ what’s happening right now, except it feels like his world is crumbling around him.

The Liam he’s grown to trust and love is a definitively not-single pop star touring the world with his band. That was _not_ his Liam.

He doesn’t have a Liam anymore.

He crawls into his bed and pulls the blankets up over his head, concentrating on controlling the whirling thoughts in his head.

Liam _lied_ on so many fronts it was absolutely unreal. Jake doesn’t know, in all honesty, what’s the truth anymore, if _anything_ Liam told him is truthful.

He’s obviously British. So there’s that. But _Danielle_? And One Direction.

And he couldn’t make it _stop_. Liam lied. Liam lied to him. Sin of omission is still a lie.

Quiet, loving, trustworthy Liam _lied_. About pretty much everything, it feels like.

Jake’s had broken hearts before, but this feels like he’s been decimated. Liam’s taken his heart and crushed it into a million pieces. Something that maybe can’t entirely be put back together the same way it was before.

He can’t even cry, as much as he feels like he’s been torn apart, because he’s basically numb everywhere else. Everywhere except where his heart feels shattered in his chest.

It all makes sense, though, once he thinks about it. Liam has always been evasive about his job. He never really questioned—or had reason to question—his relationship status. It just kind of burns that he didn’t know about this girl. But he’d, on more than one occasion, let the flimsy response about work go. He didn’t press.

Should he have? Would Liam have told him the truth?

 _No_ , he thinks. Probably not. Might’ve lied to his face, though.

“Jake?” Morgan’s voice startles him a little. “Mom says dinner’s ready.”

She’s knocking on his door. He can hear her try to open it, but Jake vaguely recalls locking it when he came in.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been in his bed, but it’s apparently been hours, just staring at nothing under his covers.

His mom never makes dinner before 6:30.

He doesn’t answer her and eventually she stops trying to get him to open the door and come out for food.

He just keeps laying there, not moving in his bed, and it’s not too much longer before Jaime’s cracking the lock on his door like he knows she knows how to do, and coming inside.

She doesn’t say anything until after she’s closed and re-locked the door behind her. She sits on the corner of his bed. “Did you and Liam fight?”

He doesn’t want to answer, but it’s his sister, and if he can’t talk to her, he has no one. “No,” he whispers, uncovering just his head and looking at her with the saddest eyes in the history of human existence.

“Are you sure? Because you don’t look... happy, and you were downright ecstatic about seeing him in two days.”

“I haven’t talked to him.”

Her frown deepens. “Then what’s going on?”

He pulls out his phone and googles Liam again, handing her the results.

She scrolls through the results with a confused look on her face. “Jake?”

“My—he’s Liam Payne of One Direction, Jaime,” he croaks, and he feels the telltale lump in his throat, feels his eyes prick with moisture. “He’s not... he’s not who he said he was when we talked.”

“This... I mean, Jake, it’s not that—”

“He’s got a girlfriend. Like, serious, I guess. They got a dog together and they live together.”

He’s doing his best to blink back the tears, but it’s not working, and he wipes them off with his blanket.

Jaime lays down next to him and wraps an arm around him, holding him tight.

“You’re going to talk to him?”

He shakes his head. “I can’t right now.”

And he doesn’t. Jaime holds him all night, because that’s the kind of sister she is. He ignores his phone, and after the third missed call with Liam’s ringtone, he sits up and throws it across the room so hard that he can hear the glass crack against the wall.

“Shh, Jake,” she tells him, pulling him back down and into her arms again. “That’s not going to mute it, either.”

But apparently he jarred something with the sound, because it lights up, but never makes another sound.

He’s fine with that.

He doesn’t sleep that night. The sky is just turning from black to gray when his stomach starts churning so hard that he has to get up and run into the bathroom that’s connected to his room.

He barely makes it.

Jaime hears him, because you can’t retch quietly, and brushes his hair back out of his face as he throws up. She gets him a cup of water from the sink, and leads him back to bed when he’s flushed the toilet.

He cries, then, sobbing into her shoulder until his nose is so clogged he can barely breathe, his breath is coming out in hitches, and he’s cried all the tears in the northern hemisphere.

“Ew, you’re really gross,” she says lovingly as she reaches off his bed for the box of kleenex he keeps stashed there. Summer allergies are usually a bitch.

He cleans himself up the best he can, even though his nose feels like it’ll never be unclogged and his eyes feel swollen. He’s a terrible crier.

“I’m here for you, bro,” Jaime whispers in his ear when he’s staring back off into space a few minutes later. “I love you.”

He doesn’t say it back, but she knows he loves her, too.

\-----------

Jake doesn’t leave his bedroom until the day after he’s supposed to go to Ohio. Ignoring phone calls from Liam is really easy. He deletes the voicemails before he hears any voices, and he doesn’t bother checking his email.

Ignoring the texts is significantly more difficult. Because he doesn’t want to ignore everyone. But after two days of Jake, please call me im worried, or Jake you havent returned any of my messages are you okay and Jake what happened i miss you and the other 137 messages, he tosses his phone out his window and aims for his pool. He doesn’t make it directly, but it skitters across the pavement until it falls in.

The dull sploosh is almost theraputic.

\----------

Jake has to shell out $300 for a new iPhone, which Jaime literally drags him out of the house to go get a week later.

He’s been cooped up too long, she tells him, shoving him into her Escape.

They get to the mall and he freezes when he sees a Liam Payne stand-up in the FYE.

How had he been blind for four months?

“C’mon, Jake, Apple’s over there,” she points to the store and takes his hand to pull him inside.

They get him a brand new phone with no cracks and sound that works.

He doesn’t get as many texts and missed calls and voicemails from Liam as he did the first week. They kind of peter off, but they’re still present and it makes his heart ache with how betrayed he feels.

“How’m I going to take her to the concert, Jaime? I can’t go. I... can’t.”

She looks at him on their way back home. “No, I told Mom I’m not going to Toronto anymore. I’ll take her. No worries, little bro.”

No worries. He snorts. “Thanks, Jaim. I know it’s still a couple weeks away, but I’m pretty sure I can’t handle it.”

She nods and drives them home in silence.

\--------------

The next two weeks don’t pass quickly or slowly. Mike comes to visit when he hears about Liam, and not a single word is uttered about the relationship once he shows up. They simply get drunk, crank call Will—which is hard to do when you’re wasted and not blocking the number you’re calling from—and laze about in the sun at Jake’s pool.

It’s pretty relaxing, but then Mike leaves and Jake’s reminded by Morgan’s incessant ramblings that her concert is tonight. Jaime just shoots him helpless looks, because nobody can break Morgan’s heart, even though Liam broke Jake’s. Jake wants her to have fun, though, so while she’s a friend’s house, he and Jaime go to get her a cute new outfit to wear to the concert. Jaime picks it out while Jake picks out a few hair accessories and necklaces to make her look like a diva.

Well, he tries. Jaime and the sales girl have to overrule him on one or two items.

Jaime drops him off at home before going to pick up Morgan so they can get ready for the concert. When he tries to take their bags inside, she waves him off and says she wants to show her in the car.

Jake just shrugs and goes in the garage she opened for him, cutting through the kitchen and family room to his bedroom.

He almost gets all the way there.

Someone sitting on his couch catches his eye. And his parents are in Hawaii, and Jaime’s off getting Morgan, so there’s no logical explanation for anyone else to be in the house.

But he turns and he really apparently needs to stop trusting the people in his life. Because Liam is on his couch, and he looks like shit.

“You look like shit,” Jake mutters, standing awkwardly in the center of the room.

“Jake,” Liam stands, but doesn’t move toward him. He just... stands there, looking at him.

“Please get out, Liam. I don’t know who thought this would be a good idea—I have my suspicions—but I’m not really up for it right now.”

“You never came to Ohio,” he says, and he looks so sad, which Jake doesn’t even begin to understand. What right does he have to be sad after what he’s done?

“Uh, yeah, I didn’t. Would you like a visual demonstration as to why?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just walks to Morgan’s room, which is directly across the hall from where Liam’s standing, and he flings open her door. The walls are absolutely papered with posters of Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, and One Direction. Niall seems to be who she’s focused on, but Liam’s fairly prominent.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I was going to tell you.”

“When, Liam? Tonight? When I took her to your concert and saw you? When, in the span of the four months we’ve been conversing, were you going to tell me that you’re famous and an über-millionaire who tours the globe singing professionally with his boyband?”

Liam blinks. “In Ohio,” he says. “I... I wanted to tell you before, but it was easier not to after awhile.”

Jake has this itch to punch him. He resists. Barely. He’s not normally a violent person, but this whole situation, this whole rehashing of his suffering, is making him reconsider his position.

“Well you were a few days too late. Morgan outed you while I was getting ready to go. She had an interview on and Louis was talking. And there you all were, in all your high-def glory. Not shilling for a charity, nope. You were promoting your concert.”

He closes Morgan’s door and walks back into the family room. He’s too tired to keep standing and arguing, so he sits in his dad’s recliner with a sigh.

Liam stays where he is, but watches him warily. “I should’ve told you sooner. Not right away, necessarily, because I have a lot to protect, but it was my mistake, Jake.”

Jake glares at him, “I never would’ve outed you. You had to’ve known that. I loved you and trusted you with my heart, with--with who I am, deep down. I finally got to be me with you, and you just... lied. The whole time.”

“No,” Liam whispers vehemently. “I lied about my job, yeah. I did. But I never lied about my feelings, or anything to do with what we had.”

Jake lets out a short bark of laughter. “Yeah, I know that isn’t true.”

He tilts his head, curious. “How? Because it is. I haven’t been happier than I was those four months we were together.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jake rolls his eyes, but stands up again. Now he can’t do this sitting down. He walks over to Liam and gets up right in his face. “Maybe you were so happy because you had your cake and got to eat it, too. Who’s Danielle, Liam?”

Liam pales a little bit and his mouth opens and closes a few times before he says, “She’s a mate of mine.”

Jake clenches his hands into fists. “Yeah, the type of ‘mate’ you move in with, get a dog with, and fuck on the regular.”

But Liam’s shaking his head, holding up his hands. “No, no, it’s deffo not like that. For one, Jake, I’m gay.”

Jake blinks. “Uh huh.” It comes out sounding skeptical, and he is. He’s heard that one before.

Liam finally takes a step closer to him. Small, but intentional. “I live with her, yeah. She’s one of my best mates. She’s been there for me from the beginning. But I do not sleep with her. I--couldn’t, even if I wanted to.”

“You couldn’t?” Jake rolls his eyes. “I know being gay makes it more difficult to get attracted to women and have sex with them, but--”

“No, no. Her. She’s...” he looks down and a blush colors his cheeks, all the way up to the tips of his ears. “I don’t think she wants this spread around, but desperate times, yeah? She’s asexual. She doesn’t have sex. Or want sex. Of any kind.” Liam straightens up a little and looks Jake straight in the eye. “I live and die with the success of One Direction. Some things are out of my hands, like the target demographic for our group being 12 to 18-year-old girls. You know what those girls want, Jake? They want to marry us. They want to believe that someday, they’ll have a shot. You know what kills those dreams? When they find out three out of the five of us are a little less than straight.”

Jake bites his lip and represses the urge to curl up and have a good cry. Liam’s right, and Jake knows that better than anyone. Not in the same sense, of course, but he knows all about not being able to come out, for fear of some kind of retribution. Sports and the male psyche is largely what keeps any of them in the closet. It’s come a long way in the past couple years, given his feeling comfortable enough to come out to all of his teammates, but he’s never even considered coming out to everyone. He couldn’t do that. Not yet.

Despite his valid point, Jake backs away from him shaking his head. “You know what, Liam? The point. You’re missing it, by quite a bit. I get all that, trust me. But it’s not that you have to hide, it’s that we’ve been doing this for a while and you never bothered to tell me. It’s not some little thing. This is a big thing, and it’s a trust thing.” He heaves a sigh. “I trusted you.”

“Do you know how hard it is to come out and say that after telling you something different?” Liam runs a hand through his hair roughly. “I kept lying, and even when I knew you wouldn’t go running to the tabs, I still couldn’t bring myself to tell you I’d been lying. Because of this.”

“Well jolly fucking good job, Liam, because look what you did. Look at us. You haven’t slept in God knows how long and I can’t even leave my bedroom without a constant reminder of your mere existence.”

Liam flinches and has the good nature to look embarrassed. “I just… didn’t want to hurt you,” he mutters.

“I’m hurt,” his lip is wobbling and he needs to stop it, so he bites down hard on it. “I really… I’m really hurt.”

“Can you ever forgive me?” he asks, and there’s the million dollar question. Jake honestly never thought he’d have the opportunity to want to. But now Liam’s standing right here in his living room, looking for all the world like he’s lost his will to live. And Jake understands why he’s done but, and maybe that’s what has him nodding.

“Liam,” he whispers, his resolve completely crumbling and he can feel his lower lip trembling again, feel the tears in his eyes. He blinks them back. He absolutely won’t cry.

“You said you loved me, Jacob,” Liam’s arms are suddenly around him, and Jake allows it, presses his face into Liam’s neck. He smells... he smells like a boy. Kind of musky, kind of like aftershave, really nice. “Do you still?” he asks.

Jake nods against his neck, and then pulls back and wipes at his wet eyes. “I tried to not. I tried to not love you anymore, and kinda thought I’d done it, but now you’re here and I just… can’t pretend.”

Liam reaches down to take one of Jake’s hands in his own. Jake thinks they fit together well. “I thought after Ohio... I was so lost without you. I knew you’d figured out that I was in One Direction, but I didn’t understand why you’d completely cut me off. I lied to you and I’m so incredibly sorry that you had to find out about me and Danielle like you did. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“I was angry,” Jake says, pulling him back to the couch by his hands and sitting down. Liam takes the seat next to him, and it’s literally all he can do to not crawl over and into his lap. Damn his needs. “I wanted so much with you, and I trusted you with so much of who I am, and you never told me about who you really are. And Danielle—the way you talk about her—it just... you sound in love.”

“I am in love. With you.” Liam squeezes his hand.

“I didn’t know that, though,” Jake murmurs. “I knew about Loki, but you said you got him so Danielle wasn’t lonely and it all just made sense. Why you’d never really told me what you did, why you kept such weird hours, even when you were in the States.”

“I can see your logic,” Liam says. “I was a total prat. I trusted you, but I was so evasive with you for so long, it was just easier to keep telling myself that you’d understand when I told you in Ohio. For some reason, I never thought you’d find out. I was naïve like that.”

“I should’ve at least answered your phone calls, but I was so hurt that you thought so little of me... I couldn’t do it.”

Liam takes initiative and pulls Jake into his lap, and Jake lets him, curling into him and resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“I never, ever wanted to hurt you, Jacob,” he whispers, kissing Jake’s forehead. “I’m very much in love with you.”

“I’m scared, Weeyum.” Jake’s voice is barely audible, but Liam must hear him, because he nods.

“I’ll earn your trust back. No more secrets, love. None.”

They’re both quiet for some time, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company.

“Can I ask you a question?” Liam breaks the silence just as Jake’s closed his eyes and is considering dozing.

“Mmm you just did,” Jake smiles, clutching Liam’s shirt in his fist and giggling a little.

Jake swears he can literally feel Liam roll his eyes. “Oi, don’t be like Lou. I get enough of his shit every day, yeah? Be nice to me.”

“Course you can ask, Weeyum. Don’t gotta ask if you can ask. Just do it.”

Liam seems to hesitate, because he doesn’t ask right away. Jake looks up at him and he seems to be more tense.

“Do you want to come on tour with me for a bit? Travel out to California, maybe?”

Jake stares at him, doesn’t blink once, jaw open. “I—you want me to go on tour with you? Seriously? I can do that?”

Liam raises his eyebrows and nods. “I was planning to ask in Ohio, actually. Boys know I want you around, Paul—he’s our manager—he knows, too. T’everyone else, you’d be a friend. But the important people know who you are, and Danielle knows, and it’s all set, if you’d like.”

Jake nods his head so hard it hurts. “Yes, I want to go with you. I’ll be your groupie, Liam Payne.”

Liam laughs and kisses his cheek. “You’re not my groupie. You’re my little Jacob.”

“Are they mad at me?” Jake asks him, ducking his head into Liam’s neck again. He would be, if he were them.

“What?” Liam chuckles. “The guys? No. They know it was my fault. They’re right mad at me, actually. Louis hit me upside the head, couple times.”

Jake slides off Liam’s lap, sitting next to him, and still clutching his hand. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s not--” Liam sighs and turns to face him. “It was my own fault. Don’t apologize. This was all my fault.”

Jake shakes his head, looking at his lap.

“Hey,” Liam murmurs, hooking a finger to Jake’s chin and guiding him to meet his eyes. “I love you and we’re going to fix it and it will be okay,” he says.

He wants to trust that, he wants to trust Liam again. He sighs and smiles, nodding a little.

“I’m going to kiss you now, Jacob,” Liam tells him.

He leans forward slowly, giving Jake more than enough time to pull away if he wants, but he doesn’t. He’s wanted to kiss Liam since he first saw him on Skype four months ago.

His lips are soft, as soft as they look, and Jake clutches the one of Liam’s hands he has in his, moves the other to Liam’s neck. He likes Liam’s neck. Liam’s free hand is cradling Jake’s face as he opens his mouth to deepen the kiss. Jake whimpers softly, pulls back and rests his forehead against Liam’s.

“I... that was really nice.”

Liam’s eyes are closed and he’s breathing deeply through his nose. “Yeah,” he croaks, smiling gently. “It was.”

Jake hears the garage door slam open and a pair of feet come tearing through the house. “JAKE!” Morgan’s screaming. “Jake, I CAN’T WAIT TO LEAVE!”

Jake has the good sense to pull away sharply before his cousin can catch him in a precarious position with her idol. She comes to a comically fast stop when he crashes into the room, all her bags dropping on the floor.

“OH MY GOD!”

Jake puts his face in his hands and groans. He looks up after a long moment of complete silence and sees Liam holding in his laughter—barely, because his shoulders are shaking with it. Morgan is standing slack-jawed, staring at Liam, hands spread wide at her side.

“Morgan,” Jake stands up slowly, consciously moving between her and Liam, just in case. “This is Liam Payne,” he tells her, because he’s an asshole like that. “Liam, this is my cousin, Morgan.”

Jake spies his sister hanging out against the doorjamb into the kitchen and he glares at her momentarily before looking back at Morgan, who still hasn’t moved. “Would you like to say hi?” he asks her.

Liam knows who Morgan is because Jake talked about her a lot when he and Liam Skyped. He takes initiative and stands, smiling. “Hello, Morgan. It’s lovely to meet you. Jake’s told me quite a lot about you, yeah?”

Morgan’s mouth is opening and closing, looking between Jake and Liam, clearly confused. “You, you know him?” she asks, pointing at Liam.

“Yeah, seems I do,” Jake nods.

“And you don’t want to go to his concert with me?” she frowns.

“It’s not my music,” he wrinkles his nose a bit.

Now Liam looks at him, offended. “Oi! We make good music!”

Morgan nods frantically, “Yeah! The best!”

“So, Morgan,” Liam turns his attention to her after sending Jake one last glare. “How’d you like to sit right up front with Jake and Jaime?”

Jaime looks pleased at being acknowledged, standing up a little straighter in the doorway.

“I--Oh my gosh! I was sitting so far away! But--really?”

Liam nods. “You can even come backstage and meet Zayn, Niall, Louis, and Harry afterwards.”

Morgan looks like she’s about to faint. “That’d be so awesome. You’re so awesome, Liam. That’s so nice of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she flings herself at him, hugging him tight around his waist.

Liam doesn’t look startled; he just laughs and hugs her back. “You’re welcome, love. I’ve got to make some phone calls and get you set up, but you can pick up your passes at the arena, yeah?”

Morgan extricates herself from him and runs down the hall, squealing the whole time.

“She’s cute, Jake,” Liam smiles.

Jake laughs and then nods at Jaime. “Li, this is Jaime. My sister. Jaime, this is my Liam.”

Liam reaches out and takes Jake’s hand, twining their fingers together. Jake’s pretty sure that if he died now, right this second, he would die happily.

“It’s nice to finally meet you in person, but I’m only giving you one more chance,” Jaime tells him. “I don’t want to have to sneak you in here again.”

Jake glares at her. “I knew it. I knew it was you. You could’ve warned me.”

“Warned you? I had to get you out of the house. You’ve been a pain in the ass for three weeks, baby brother. I had to fix it and no, I couldn’t have told you. You’re happy now, right?”

He nods, squeezing Liam’s hand gently. “We’re working it out, yeah.”

She peers at him curiously. “Am I going to be the oldest one at this concert of yours?”

“No,” Liam grins and winks at her, “there will be plenty of other chaperones.”

She nods and laughs, walking down the hall to her room. “Have fun, boys!”

Jake tugs Liam down the hall, trailing her. “I’ll show you my room.”

“Then you can pack, I’ll make the phone call, then I’ll distract you from packing.”

Jake stops and turns to look at him incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Oh, indeed. I plan on distracting you very thoroughly for a little while.”

Jake opens his door and leads Liam in, holding his free arm out. “It isn’t a lot. Most of my stuff doesn’t really get unpacked between MSU and here. That’s why the boxes.”

Liam lets go of his hand and wanders around, touching the books on his bookshelves, ghosting fingers over the pictures on his desk. “It’s very you, Jake.”

He blushes a little. “So how’s this going to work?”

“Hmm?” Liam turns his head to look at him as he examines the books more closely. “I thought I outlined that.”

“Touring with you,” Jake clarifies.

“Oh,” he shrugs. “Pack a suitcase. I’ll take it with me when Paul comes to pick me up. You, Morgan, and Jaime come backstage after the concert, they go home, and you,” Liam walks over and wraps an arm around Jake’s waist. He hovers just over his lips, not quite touching, but almost. “You come with me.”

Jake presses forward and kisses him, sinking into Liam and holding onto him tight. Liam holds back equally and plunders Jake’s mouth, leaving him gasping for breath when they part.

“You’re absolutely amazing, Jacob,” Liam mutters, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Oh, I’ve almost forgotten. I have something for you.”

Liam moves one of his hands away from Jake’s hair and digs into his pocket. He pulls out a binkie and hands it to him. “I found this for you. In London before we left. I—I wanted to give it to you in person.”

Jake grins, because it’s a pacifier, but it also has a Union Jack on it, and it really reminds him of Liam. So, of course, he loves it. He tells Liam exactly that.

“Really?” Liam looks a bit skeptical.

“Course I love it, you dork. My British boyfriend got me a binkie with your flag on it. It’s awesome.” He looks relieved, so Jake kisses him softly. “Thank you.”

Liam steps back to make his phone call, while Jake digs into his closet for his only free suitcase. All the others are still loaded down with his dorm stuff.

He packs his essentials first, the stuff that he usually forgets when he goes on road trips. He’s a bit well-versed in packing, so he’s mostly on autopilot while he grabs jeans, a pair of shorts (he’s optimistic), and other random things to stuff in the black bag.

Liam finishes his phone call fairly quickly, and sits on his bed, watching. “Paul’s picking me up in an hour. Your tickets will be at Will Call under your name, yeah?”

Jake nods and closes his suitcase. It doesn’t exactly stay closed. He’s going to have to creatively sit on it to zip it, but he’s not that surprised.

Liam doesn’t seem to be, either. He tugs Jake close, taking his hand and kissing the palm. “I really do love you,” he smiles, looking up at him.

Jake places his knees on either side of Liam and straddles him, settling on his lap. “You, too,” he whispers, kissing him softly.

Jake shifts, sitting with his legs stretched out on the bed, leaning against Liam’s chest. He pulls one of the binkies Liam had sent him back in March out of his pocket and hands it to him.

“Weeyum does it,” he says, kissing Liam’s cheek.

Liam watches him intently, holding the pacifier up to his mouth and Jake eagerly sucks it in, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

He takes back what he said earlier, about dying happy. Now he’s happy.

\--------------

He hasn’t really thought much about what to expect when he and Jaime take Morgan to the concert, but it’s possible he should’ve considered bringing earplugs.

All the screaming. Don’t these girls want to actually hear the guys sing?

The show isn’t as bad as he thought it would be for a boy band, but it’s not really his type of music. He generally prefers a little twang in his tunes. But it’s still not bad.

Once they get backstage, they’re ushered into a dressing room, where he flops onto a couch, poking at his ears because they won’t stop ringing. Jaime’s texting, and Morgan can’t stay still, pacing and shaking her hands out.

“Morgan, sit,” he says, patting the spot beside him. “They’ve probably got other people coming in here.”

She turns to look at him, but keeps walking. “If I sit down, I think I’ll throw up.”

Jake laughs and Jaime snorts, thumbs still glued to her phone.

“You never said... how do you know Liam?” Morgan moves to making circles around the couches in the room.

“I—”

He’s saved from answering when Liam chooses to have the best timing ever and come inside, all sweaty and smiling and amped up. It reminds Jake idly of himself after games. It takes hours to wind down.

“Sorry,” he says, walking over to Morgan and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She looks like she’s going to pitch over. “The boys are still doing a meet with other fans. They’ll be in in a mo.”

She shrugs, and Jake’s pretty sure it’s because she doesn’t think she can speak with Liam touching her. It’s kind of how he feels, too. So he understands.

Liam’s just asking her whether she enjoyed the show (which is an absolutely ridiculous question) when the door opens again and Louis pokes his head in. “Oi!” he yells. “Liam’s found a pretty girl. He’s hiding in here!”

Niall, Harry, Zayn, and Louis all tumble into the room and head straight for Morgan and Liam. Jake feels proud just watching as Morgan gets four hugs and is bombarded with questions. Morgan looks like she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself as she rehashes the best moments from the front row.

Niall and Zayn end up steering her over to a couch in the corner with her between them as they discuss the differences in growing up in Britain versus America (Jake supposes ‘discussing’ is the wrong term. Niall and Zayn are doing most of the talking while Morgan reaches out every once in awhile to poke them as if making sure they’re real).

Jake watches Louis take Jaime’s phone from her and start tapping away. He laughs, because she looks mildly outraged, but apparently not enough to actually say anything. Harry seems to distract her enough just by smiling at her and talking about the weather. That British accent will get anyone. Jake most certainly included.

Speaking of Brits that make his heart stutter, Liam sits next to him and takes his hand. “I saw you from the stage. You didn’t look like you were having any fun.”

Jake laughs, because he remembers meeting Liam’s eyes a few times throughout the night. “It wasn’t you—or your show—I promise,” he snickers. “But there were these girls who wouldn’t stop screaming in my ear. How do you deal with that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think we ever really get used to it, but it’s just... part of it. They’re loud, yeah?”

“I’d say you’re downplaying it. They’re more than loud. Thank god hockey isn’t that bad. The shrieking. I’d go deaf.”

Jake’s very conscious of their contact point, of the hand that holds his, Liam’s thumb brushing back and forth over the skin near his thumb. It makes him want to crawl into Liam and curl up with his blanket and a bottle. Which he packed after Liam reminded him.

“Thank you, Li,” he nudges Liam’s shoulder with his own. “You were really good with Morgan today. She needed that, you know?”

Liam grins and squeezes his hand. “She makes it easy. She’s a good kid.”

Jake can hear her voice getting louder as she explains the finer points of American football to Naill, gesturing with her hands. He can’t get her behind hockey, because football has always been huge in her life. Jake doubts she’ll have much luck convincing a European that any sport is better than soccer, but she seems fairly intent to try.

“I’ll even show you. Next time you’re in the States during football season, I’ll take you to a game!”

Niall smiled, but shook his head. “The lads and I been, Morgan. I wasn’t convinced.”

“No, no,” she shakes her head. “You gotta do it right. I’ll show you.”

He looks over at Jake, but Jake shrugs at him. “I got nothing. She’s nothing if not persistent. Good luck trying to say no.”

Morgan grins like she know she’s won. She probably has.

Jake sighs and sits back on the couch, looking at Liam, who’s keeping a careful eye on Louis, Harry, and Jaime. “Your sister, and Louis and Harry,” he says. “This could be trouble that I’m not equipped to deal with.”

“I’m hoping Jaime’s learned to show more restraint in sharing my dark childhood secrets,” Jake brushes a hand back through his hair and follows Liam’s gaze. The three are looking conspiratorially over at them and whispering to each other. “Yeah, that doesn’t bode well.”

Morgan chooses that moment to walk over to sit on Jake’s lap, “Thanks for coming, Jake,” she hugs him tight.

He kisses her temple and returns her hug. “Did you have fun?”

“The best time ever,” she says. She looks down at their hands and then back up at him. “Are you and Liam dating?”

Jake blinks, feels his heart pounding. His eyes flick over to Liam, who frowns, but doesn’t move his eyes away.

“We are,” Liam confirms, making all the air whoosh right out of his lungs.

“Mor, you know how we can’t tell people about Jake being gay?” Jaime says from her spot between Louis and Harry. “This is like that. You can’t tell anyone about Liam and Jake. Even though it’s really cool.”

Morgan nods at her, but frowns, looking back at their hands. “Does this mean you and Danielle aren’t together anymore?” she asks Liam.

“Love,” Louis walks over and crouches in front of Morgan, “Danielle is one of Liam’s best mates. She protects him in case anyone wants to let Liam’s secret out. They’re only pretending.”

Jake thinks that’s a fairly succinct way of saying it, and he kind of wishes Louis had been there three weeks ago when he’d seen the interview on television.

Morgan, however, looks down at Louis like he’s grown a second head. “I’m thirteen, not three. You can just say she’s a beard.”

Louis looks up at Jake with wide eyes, but Jake shakes his head. “Dude, I don’t know. I didn’t know she knew what a beard was.”

She sighs painfully. “I read,” she grumbles. She looks at Liam and smiles. “That’s cool, though. So you’re why he was so excited about going to Ohio. I didn’t put your tour together with his Liam. Damn, I missed that.”

Jake’s jaw drops. “Morgan!” he and Jaime yelp. “Don’t swear.”

“Sorry,” she says, but she doesn’t sound like it. “But I won’t tell anyone. Nobody’d believe me anyways.”

Jaime pulls Morgan off Jake’s lap. “Sorry, kiddo, but we need to hit the road. It’s late and it’s a drive back home.”

She pouts a little, but nods. “Yeah...”

“Pictures?” Harry asks, holding up his phone. “Memories ’n all that?”

Jake lets go of Liam’s hand so the five boys can take pictures with Morgan, and after she takes a few with Niall by himself, she looks expectantly at Jake. “You ready?”

“Actually,” he says, “I’m staying. Sort of. I’m going with Liam for a little while.”

Her eyes get wide as saucers. “You’re going on tour?”

“I’m just borrowing him for a few weeks,” Liam winks at her. “I promise I’ll give him back.”

Jake stands and pulls Morgan in for a hug. “I’ll miss you, kid. But I’ll call you every day. Be good for Jaime. And no more swearing.”

Niall gives her a hug after Jake is done. “I’ll send you Harry’s pictures once I can get him to get off his lazy arse and send them to me.”

“I’ll give Niall your number,” Jake tells her.

Morgan nods and waves as Jaime heads for the door. “Great show! Thank you guys so much!” she calls, heading outside.

They all wave her off and Liam tugs Jake close. “I love you,” he whispers and ghosts his lips over Jake’s cheek.

“I love you, too,” and laughs when he sees Zayn make a face over Liam’s shoulder.

“Let’s go, gentlemen,” a voice calls from outside the door, knocking twice. “Bus’s ready.”

“Yeah?” Liam looks at Jake.

“Ready,” Jake tells him.

\----------------

There’s plenty of media absolutely glorifying the life of a rockstar and the world tour. Jake’s read some of it. What they tend to leave out when writing that garbage, however, is how absolutely boring it can be sometimes.

Even with five other boys on board, Jake sometimes finds himself wishing he were back at school with something--anything--to do. He’s pretty sure he’d take a five page paper on the domestic imports of Guatemala.

There are times, though, that the listlessness comes in handy. With Louis, Harry, Niall, and Zayn on the bus, it’s hard to get any actual alone time, but they all manage to get a few hours of peace every couple days. Today, it’s Zayn and Niall distracting Louis and Harry with NHL13 that Jake taught them how to play, even though none of them are any good. They’ve all decided to take it upon themselves to figure out how to best team up and beat Jake, who will always play alone. Thus far, they are woefully unsuccessful.

Right now, though, Jake is curled up in the queen-size bed on the bus, small spoon to Liam’s big spoon. He won’t use say terms anymore after learning that Liam’s irrational fear was more of an irrational phobia that he should probably see someone about and Jake’s not going to actually think about that incident ever again.

He pushes back a little, mostly just wiggling, and Liam tightens his hold. “Alright, Jacob?” he murmurs.

Jake is, most certainly. He’s quite content to just lay and doze, because last night there was a confrontation after the show involving fans trying to sneak onto the bus, and for some reason, it delayed them almost two hours from leaving. By the time everyone had gotten settled and wound down, it was early morning and they’d had to be up for an interview in Minneapolis.

So he and Liam have been in and out of dozing for a good hour now and Jake is still sucking on the binkie Liam slipped into his mouth when they laid down.

Now, though, he knows there’s a bottle on the night stand with juice in it, and he’s not thirsty necessarily, but he likes the idea of the bottle. They’re comfortable, and they still probably have another hour before Louis comes to interrupt them.

He whimpers and Liam kisses the back of his neck. “Bottle, yeah?” he pulls the British-emblazoned pacifier out and Jake lets him. Liam sits up and drops it into one of his bags in the corner before reaching for the bottle. He doesn’t lie back down with it, instead shifting to sit against the headboard. He pulls Jake into his lap, cradling him, and Jake obediently opens his mouth for the bottle that Liam holds out to him.

It’s white-grape juice. His absolute favorite.

He knows, right in this moment as he suckles on the bottle, that he is loved and cherished, and will be protected. Liam has done everything in his power to make up for the mistakes that plagued them before they actually met face-to-face, and it’s made their relationship much stronger.

“Louis told a gaggle of fans today that Zayn and I cuddle on the bus,” Liam says conversationally, and Jake makes a mental note to smack Louis with a pot later. He keeps dropping random (false) tidbits of information to girls in every city they hit and it always creates a small uproar online. “Then Zayn told him if he didn’t stop, he’d tattoo Eleanor’s name on his forehead.”

Eleanor is a touchy spot with them, because of Harry and Louis’s relationship. While they both know that she’s no threat to it, Harry’s idle jealousy has started many an argument after a mere mention of her name. It doesn’t even have to be Louis bringing her up. Jake’s eternally grateful he’s not that jealous a person. He’s seen Danielle, and if he didn’t know better, he’d probably be brooding over her as much as Harry does over Eleanor at times.

“Interview was the same as it always is,” Liam sighs, starts running his fingers through Jake’s long hair. He hasn’t been to the barber in a few months--he really needs a trim. Liam once told him he wasn’t allowed to take any sharp objects near it, ever, but Jake told him that trims are necessary for health and growth. He acquiesced as long as it was always “flow length” (a hockey term he’d since adopted that Jake found endearing, even though ‘flow’ didn’t necessarily have a length).

“They want to fly Danielle out once we get to California for a few days.”

Jake doesn’t tense up, doesn’t even blink. He figures they’d be bringing her along sooner or later. Eleanor had been around just before Jake jumped on tour with them, and it took another day, even after Louis and Harry spent an entire night locked in the room with the queen-sized bed, for Harry to stop glaring at anything that moved.

His eyes flick up and they meet Liam’s and he smiles around his bottle. He’s taking it slowly, drawing it out. He wants Liam to know that it doesn’t bother him. He can play the part of doting boyfriend to the press and that’s fine. Jake knows where he stands with Liam and that’s all that matters. Not that he’s going to go looking for the inevitable deluge of articles and pictures on the time he spends in public with Danielle, but it won’t put him in a sour mood like it does Harry.

Liam presses his lips to Jake’s forehead, letting them linger a bit. Then he pulls Jake’s blanket over him, so Jake can nestle into Liam’s arms a bit and they can both doze again.

So yeah, the road life is dull sometimes. But then again, that’s what makes these times work.

\-----------

The best thing about sharing a house with three guys? Having his own room to lock their sorry asses out of his life for a few hours.

It’s finally October and hockey’s just gotten back into full-swing. The entire team is exhausted after a trip out to Boston. It’s late when they get back into Lansing, later than they usually arrive home, and it’s damn near ten before Jake can fly into his room, slamming and bolting it after him.

Jake doesn’t have to try hard to get the energy up to talk to Liam, though. Because it’s been a full seven days since they’ve seen each other (the occasional text/phone call notwithstanding) and Jake misses him like he’d miss his right arm.

He settles into his chair and logs on. He doesn’t even have to wait. The box appearing is instantaneous.

He hears Liam laugh before he sees his face once the Skype box pops up. It gives him little goosebumps every time he hears that laugh, because it means his Liam is happy and healthy. And then there he is, grinning, and--

“Weeyum, youses hairs!”

Which is not exactly how he intended to start a conversation with his boyfriend after a long day of travelling and 7 days of Skype-less days. Oh well. C’est la vie.

Jake can see him fidgeting all the way over in London. “Er--yeah.” He actually looks down and away. “Zayn dared me.” He seems to be a bit embarrassed.

Jake rolls his eyes, but he can’t say much. He actually has a tattoo on his ass because of Will and Mike. But the buzz cut seems very... him. It brings out his cheekbones and makes him look older.

“I wike it,” he grins. “Don’t wook sad! I seed you wike dis in a magazine!”

Liam’s eyes are on-screen again and Jake laughs at the relief that’s clear there. “You like it?” Liam asks.

Jake nods and holds up his hand, wiggling his fingers. “Wish I could touch it. Wun my fingers frew it. Fuzzy!”

Liam winks. “Louis and Harry have had their hands all over it since Niall buzzed it.”

Louis and Harry keep touching his head? Jake glares. “Hands off! MY head! My Weeyum!”

“Good luck with that, yeah?” Liam snorts. “It’s like they’ve got a new toy, with my hair gone.”

“Weeyum. My hair. Hands off! Make a sign and tape it.”

“Tape it to my forehead?” he looks at Jake like he’s gone crazy. “You’ve gone round the bend. They wouldn’t listen to a sign.”

“It’s not fair dat dey can touch youses ’n I can’t! Make dem stop!”

“I’ll try, baby Jacob. Alright?”

Jake nods and sees Liam turn his head to try to hide a yawn, which Jake has gotten very adept at spotting. Because Liam does it all the time. 

“Hey,” he murmurs. “Sing me to sweep?”

He knows that Liam knows what Jake is up to. Sometimes Jake has to take care of Liam, too.

Liam clears his throat and Jake runs over to his bed and grabs his blanket. When he settles with it wrapped around him, he digs a pacifier out of the drawer and pops it in. Liam smiles at him, blows him a kiss, and starts singing, “ _I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy._  
 _I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything that you need._  
 _I’ll love you more with every breath, truly, madly, deeply do._

_I will be strong, I will be faithful, cuz I’m counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning, yeah._  
 _I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea, I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me._  
 _And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I’ll make a wish, send it to heaven, then make you want to cry._

_The tears of joy for all pleasure and the certainty, that we’re surrounded by the comfort and protection_  
 _Of the highest powers, in lonely hours, the tears devour you._  
 _I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me._  
 _Oh, can you see it baby? Don’t have to close your eyes, cuz it’s standing right before you. All that you need will surely come._

_I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy._  
 _I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything that you need._  
 _I’ll love you more with every breath, truly, madly, deeply do._  
 _I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me._  
 _I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to live like this forever until the sky falls down over me_.”

Jake’s heart is in his throat when Liam finishes singing quietly, his voice a bit rough because he’s so tired. It’s his favorite song that Liam’s sung to him.

He pulls his binkie out so he can tell Liam, “That was beautiful.”

He smiles, a bit tiredly, and nods. “Thank you, love. Bed time, yeah?”

Probably for both of them, yeah. But it’s 2 AM in London and Liam’s probably been running around ragged all day.

“Night, Daddy,” he waves and pops his pacifier in.

“Goodnight, little Jacob.”

Liam is gone right after that and Jake has to stop himself from pouting in his chair. He has the best life, the best boyfriend that anyone could ask for. He wouldn’t trade any of it right now for anything in the world. That’s what’s important and that’s what’s keeping him going.

It’s really all he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is love!! Any and all comments are helpful.


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